In the land of the pure, the women are dispensable. To be hated upon. To be dehumanised. To be treated as second-class citizens.
Their births – especially if they are the first child – are either met with sheer disdain or a resigned acceptance and a whispered prayer for the next child to be a boy. Their bodies are sexualised even when they have barely learnt to walk. Their right to education is railed against in viral videos by zealots masquerading as social reformers.
They are told to cover up by men because their own brethren are not to be trusted. Their career aspirations must die to allow them to get married and be ‘good’ wives and daughters-in-law. Their success in life is measured by their ability to birth and raise children. They are raped as toddlers, as young girls, as grown women even when fully covered – dead or alive. They are murdered in cold blood by their fathers, brothers, husbands in the name of honour or sometimes for saying a simple three-letter word – no.
If you think that I am using this space for an angry rant – yes, I am. Because the women of this country are angry. And they deserve space for expressing their anger.
Just two weeks ago, we were hailing the verdict issued by the Supreme Court of Pakistan upholding the conviction of Noor Mukaddam’s murderer. Yet here we are. A beautiful seventeen-year-old child, Sana Yousaf, brutally killed in the capital city by a young man who could not accept a woman’s exercise of her agency.
How did we get here?
How have we allowed the rot to get so deep that it has quite literally infected the minds of the men that inhabit this country and turned them into violent machines? The Motorway rape victim was travelling without a male companion alone at night so she must burden some of the blame for the gruesome sexual violence she was subjected to. Noor Mukkadam was in a relationship with her murderer so her brutal killing should not have come as a surprise to anyone. Sana Yousaf’s digital identity precluded her from feeling safe within the four walls of her own home. Surely, her use of social media was a clear invitation for harassment, stalking and eventually, murder.
How did we get here?
We are all collectively responsible – the state and the citizens. When the Supreme Court of this country shames victims of gender-based violence even in their death. When parliamentary leaders announce country-wide protests against a law that seeks to protect young girls by banning child marriage. Where laws allow for pardons by grieving family members acting under duress or political pressure or pushed to the edge by the justice system’s failure to bring murderers to justice. Where state functionaries perpetuate harmful stigmas about women who dare to access the justice system against the violence being meted out to them.
In our homes where our mothers perpetuate internalised misogyny and patriarchy by training their daughters to be passive, accepting participants in this deeply patriarchal system at the cost of their dreams and ambitions. When our TV screens portray angry, rude and egoistical male leads as the ideal men who always get their happy endings with the perfectly docile partner. In our social gatherings, when we fail to call out sexist jokes. In our collective discourse of women being seen as the repositories of honour of their families and the state.
Over the last few years, we have had a series of high-profile cases of gender-based violence. Zainab Ansari. Sara Inaam. Qandeel Baloch. Noor Mukaddam. Sand Yousaf. After every such instance, we are horrified. How could this have happened? Protests are organised. The state vows to bring the perpetrators to justice. Quick arrests are made. We try to rationalise the violence as a one-off instance because any other explanation would require shattering the lie we, as a society, have told ourselves – we respect women. We put the onus of women to protect themselves. Do not venture out alone or stay out late, dress ‘appropriately’, carry pepper sprays and take self-defence classes.
How do we fix this?
Before anything else – before we talk about laws, and the state, and the justice system, we need to look at what is going on inside our homes. As a society, there needs to be collective introspection about raising better men. We begin by teaching them that there is no difference between their sisters and them. We teach them how to regulate their emotions. We teach them what consent means. We teach them no means no. We teach them to not see women as objects of desire and sites of control. We teach them that their honour does not lie in the bodies of their mothers, sisters and daughters. We teach them what we teach our daughters.
Let’s now look at what can do at our schools. We must reform our curriculum and remove any material that perpetuates traditional gender roles. Teachers need to be trained to actively combat stereotypical ideas involving women. Strict sexual harassment and bullying policies must be instituted and implemented. There is compelling evidence available that demonstrates comprehensive sexuality education (CSE) leads to the prevention of gender-based violence in the long term by teaching children respect for human rights and gender equality.
For the most part, we have the required laws on our books. However, where we fail miserably is in their implementation and enforcement. To begin with, we need mandatory gender sensitisation programmes for all state officials but especially those involved in the justice delivery system. There is also a critical and urgent need for more female representation in the police and the judiciary. A cursory review of Justice Ayesha Malik’s jurisprudence on matters involving gender and violence against women is sufficient evidence for including competent female judges in the judiciary.
The state must actively provide support to victims of gender-based violence. The model of protection centres and shelter homes provided for by the Punjab Prevention of Violence against Women Act, 2016 with medical, psychological and legal aid all under one roof must be replicated across the country.
Finally, and most importantly, the state must create deterrence for perpetrators of gender-based violence and those who facilitate or glorify it. A structural overhaul of the justice delivery system is required to ensure that perpetrators of gender-based violence are held accountable for their crimes and not allowed to get away due to inaccessible or ineffective reporting mechanisms, flawed police investigations and lengthy judicial processes.
For far too long, Pakistan has failed its women. It is time for Pakistan to stand with them.
The writer is an advocate of the high court.
