The invisible scars of family violence

In the sanctum of family courts, a silent pandemic lurks, leaving indelible marks on the most vulnerable members of our society, thechildren. Family violence, a scourge that transcends socio-economic boundaries, wreaks havoc on young lives, perpetuating a cycle of trauma that echoes through generations.

In the courtroom, the evidence is stark:

A 4-year-old's heartbreaking testimony:

“Mummy and papa yelled so loud, I hid under my bed. I was so scared”.

Again

A 5-year-old's tearful words:

"I don't like it when mummy and daddy fight. It makes me feel sad, and I don't know what to do" A 6-year-old's question to the court, "Why do mummy and daddy always scream at each other? Can't they just be happy like my friends"?

These voices, through real time court observation, resonate with a chilling familiarity, echoing the experiences of countless children ensnared in the crossfire of family violence. The statistics are staggering: 1 in 4 children witness domestic violence with 70 percent of them suffering emotional abuse.Children exposed to violence are more likely to develop anxiety, depression and PTSD. 60 percentof these children will become perpetrators or victims themselves.

But here's a sobering reality: this abuse often intensifies in the contract of separation or divorce. As parent relationship unravels, the conflict escalates, and children are caught in the middle.Children are four times more likely to be physically abused during custody battles.Almost all the children experience emotional abuse during their parents’ divorce. Emotional manipulation is particularly insidious form of abuse, often flying under the radar:

A mother convinces her child father is a dangerous criminal, alienating the childfrom the father. Similarly, a father tells his child mother is responsible for the divorce, loading him/her with guilt and shame. Parents use their children as messengers or spies, forcing them to choose sides.

Yet amidst the devastation, hope filchers with timely intervention.Support services and willingness can break the cycle.Healing is possible. In the family court, a new narrative unfolds:

A mother, once a victim, now a survivor, finds her voice and safe haven for children. A father, once an abuser, now a reformer, learns healthy communication and co-parenting skills.

A child, once a silent witness, now a resilient warrior, finds solace in art therapy and support groups. Let’s shed light on this hidden epidemic, shattering the silence that shrouds family violence. Together, we can create a tapestry of support, wearing together resources and hope, a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. —Naseem Akhtar Naz (The writer is a civil judge in Chunian)