As an experienced audit professional, I’m no stranger to the long hours and intense demands that often define our field. These pressures can take a toll – not just physically but mentally as well. That’s why I feel fortunate to be part of an organisation that genuinely values wellbeing and work-life balance. This supportive environment has been pivotal in helping me maintain both professional focus and personal mental health.
Recently, I became a father for the second time. With a two-year-old already at home, my wife and I were familiar with both the joy and emotional demands of early parenthood. So when I had the opportunity to take 26 weeks of paid paternity leave, I hesitated - not just because of the timing with a milestone promotion on the horizon, but also due to the internal pressure many working fathers feel to stay 'strong' and present at work.
Could I really step away at such a critical time without jeopardising my career or my sense of identity as a professional?
Looking back, taking that leave was one of the most mentally restorative and personally affirming decisions I’ve ever made. It allowed me to prioritise my family and my own mental health – and yes, I still got promoted.
Even though I had experienced new parenthood before, I still found myself hesitating. In professional services, it remains uncommon for men to take extended paternity leave – and there’s often an unspoken pressure to suppress vulnerability, avoid disruption and project constant ambition.
The upcoming promotion only amplified my internal doubts. I worried whether prioritising family at this point might stall my progress or signal a lack of commitment. But underneath those concerns was something deeper: the emotional weight of trying to meet expectations while stepping into an intense and transformative life change.
Open conversations with my wife and with empathetic colleagues who had made similar choices helped me realise that showing up mentally and emotionally for my newborn was not a weakness, but a strength. They reminded me that a healthy culture doesn’t punish caregiving but encourages it.
Fortunately, my workplace backed that belief with action. Our paternity leave policy was implemented with care, free of stigma. And that emotional safety net made all the difference.
Those 26 weeks turned out to be more valuable than I could have imagined. They allowed me to be fully present – not just for our newborn, but also for our toddler, who was adjusting to a brand new sibling. I was able to support my wife in a meaningful, consistent way and to parent equally as a co-lead in our growing family not just a ‘helper’.
There were practical moments – like night feeds and nappy changes – but also deeply emotional ones: the first smiles, quiet walks with the pram, the joy of watching my toddler grow into their new role. These moments built bonds that will last a lifetime.
Mentally, it was grounding. The mental health impact was profound. The constant presence with my family reduced stress, alleviated anxiety around work-life balance and allowed me the space to recalibrate emotionally. Fathers, too, face postpartum challenges, including feelings of overwhelm or identity shift, which are rarely discussed. Being able to slow down, reflect and reconnect with family helped me navigate the first few weeks with peace. I felt more human, more balanced and ultimately more effective.
Of course, I still had concerns about how my leave would affect my career. But the reality proved better than I’d imagined. My teams are adapting brilliantly in my absence, and my employer’s strong systems meant that everything continued to run smoothly. More importantly, when promotion decisions came around, my contribution, capability and potential were recognised regardless of the time I had taken out.
It also demonstrated how supporting paternal mental health is a business advantage – resilient, mentally well employees contribute more meaningfully. This experience reaffirmed that taking care of your family and advancing in your career do not have to be mutually exclusive.
Spending these formative months with my children was foundational. It helped me build a deeper bond with my newborn and support my toddler through a major life change. It also strengthened my relationship with my wife and reinforced our sense of shared responsibility.
Equally important, it helped challenge the old stereotype that only mothers are the primary caregivers. Involved fatherhood from the very beginning leads to stronger, more resilient families. And this is supported by research.
When organisations support both parents equally, the entire family thrives. And when fathers are empowered to prioritise their mental wellbeing during transitions like parenthood, the impact ripples into the workplace and society at large.
To fellow fathers: If paternity leave is available to you, take it – not just for your family, but for your own mental health as well. These early days can be overwhelming, disorienting, and emotionally intense. Your presence matters more than you know – for your child and for your own growth and grounding as a parent. Career fears are real, but so are the long-term mental health benefits of bonding, rest, and emotional support.
To employers: If you’re serious about fostering an inclusive, mentally healthy workplace, then equitable and stigma-free parental leave must be part of your strategy. My organisation’s approach didn’t just make me a better father – it also protected my emotional wellbeing and helped me return more focused, engaged and resilient.
I am deeply grateful for the support I received. Taking this leave didn’t slow me down; it allowed me to reset, reconnect and move forward with clarity. I hope more fathers feel empowered to make this choice for their families as well as for themselves.
The writer is a senior audit manager at Deloitte's London office and passionate about the future of financial services, analytics and AI.
