‘Men have a far deeper existentialist fear of their role in society’

With the aim to highlight patriarchy’s effects that are deeply entrenched in our society, French social entrepreneur Aurélie Salvaire’s documentary ‘Mard Ban’ was screened at T2F on Monday evening.

Starting off with footage of soldiers in a parade, the film, which shifts between cities, comprises short interviews in which individuals share their views about their role in a male-dominated society. It then shows two kabaddi players engaged with each other, as one of them says manliness is synonymous with strength.

Giving the viewpoint of Indian social scientist and activist Kamla Bhasin, the film also explores the definition of masculinity. “There are different masculinities: a Bengali man is happily singing songs, being emotional, whereas the Punjabi or Pathan masculinity here, they are very different.”

Referring to the late Sultan Rahi, journalist Haseeb Asif says the actor embodied the Punjabi man. “He was shown as the protector of family’s honour and was expected to play the role of an aggressor.”

The film also shows how advertising plays a vital role in reinforcing the current stature of men in our society. This is portrayed using an example of an insurance ad in which a man is supposed to guarantee the future while women are expected to serve food.

Kamla says men are not bothered by patriarchy because of the benefits they get from it. “Patriarchy gives men a lot of power, privileges and resources and decision-making. So if I were a man, this would not be my priority like an upper-class woman.

“I am not passionate about class issues because there I am the exploiter. I am very passionate about gender issues because I am the gender which is unhappy so I do understand men.” Psychotherapist Saima Khan feels that men are made to disconnect with their feelings because they are constantly discouraged whenever they wish to embrace their emotions.

The film ends on a note to smash patriarchy as Kamla says that unless women are free and capable, freedom is not possible, because the genders live in the same world. “We have to stand together, and at the moment both men and women are suffering from patriarchy.”

Answering questions, Aurélie said the term ‘emotionally weak’ for any gender does not exist for her. “Doctors or soldiers should have emotions because otherwise they are just serial killers, the latter more like war machines.”

She stressed that men constantly feel the need to be relevant. “If women start to reproduce themselves, what would the men be there for? There is a far deeper existentialist fear of their role then.”

When a man in the audience said women also reject men who are atypical, Aurélie said internalised misogyny needs to be addressed as well, and the onus cannot be on women or mothers because men are comfortable with their privileges. “Teaching emotional intelligence to boys would go a long way, because they need to learn how to own their emotions publicly in order to dismantle patriarchy.”