Why wives get angry?

What do we mean by the word ‘woman’ when we say a man and a woman? One can say a woman is a grown-up female of the human race, who has been playing four-sided righteous role: mother, daughter, sister and wife.

There would have been no mankind if the first woman Eve and daughters of her later generation, like Moses’ mother Maaez, Jesus’ mother Mary, Muhammad’s wife Khadija and daughter Fatimah had not obeyed the command of God.

Women continue to perform the multi-role in Rawalpindi and Islamabad or elsewhere in the backdrop of social and economic worries. If a woman is employed to manage a household she is called a house-keeper; if she is a servant in a house for cleaning rooms etc. she is disposed of as ‘naukrani’ (house-maid). She is termed house-wife if she acts as mistress and manager of a house. And, in short, she is wife if and when a man marries her according to a prescribed religious rite.

So, a man who weds a woman under ‘nikah nama’ (contract) she is acknowledged as a woman’s husband. Relatives and friends of both sides wish the bride and bridegroom a long successful life and a bright future. And, as such, a woman and a man become life partners socially, economically and culturally.

Travel from Rawalpindi to Lahore and back is indeed informative---thanks to the Pakistan Railway. Most husbands, who accompany their wives and children to P.R. platforms, return home after saying good-bye to them. They pray for safe journey of their kith and kin notwithstanding the confidence they have in the railway drivers and guards.

The other day, one saw there was no compartment without children and women whose majority was wives mostly of age ranging between 35 and 55. Food and energy price hike hit passengers voicing their anger on the platform rushed into the train at the moment there was the third whistle by the guard. The children, unaware of their mothers’ worries, started singing: “Our train is warming up and moving down but what is this hustle and bustle”. There was pin-drop silence as soon as the word “hush” came out of a wife’s mouth.

Wives were gentle, they didn’t mind the presence of a gentleman in their midst. How long they could sit silent? The gentleman yawned, saying: “Allah-o-Akbar (God is great)”. The silence was broken. Women hurriedly recited the first ‘kalima’ the moment the fast moving train came to a grinding halt. The driver had intelligently applied the brake to save the life of a pregnant she-goat.

Wives began reminiscing the days when wheat flour, meat and vegetables sold at prices the common people could afford, there was no electricity and gas load-shedding, and the lower middle could buy for their children an apple a day to keep the doctor away.

“But now my husband returns from work in the evening without an apple, and my youngest child cries ‘abba, go back, come with fruit”, I get angry and slap the fruit-hungry boy and this infuriates my life partner,” Salma spoke the truth. “We love each other. But what should I do when my husband quarrels with me over how and why I’ve finished the budget money before the end of the month?” Zohra complained against her husband who retired from the ministry of defence.

Zebun Nisa, comforting the angry woman, drew attention of other wives. “I too quarrel, sometimes, and respond positively, at others, to my husband. We discuss how to live together and lead life with a spirit of harmony and discipline in peace, my husband is basically a soldier. Any person, who exploits the needy and fattens himself by hoarding, black-marketing, profiteering and smuggling atta, rice, pulse, fish and meat, can never be patriot, nor people’s friendly.”

Eventually, there was consensus among wives to share each other’s experience to beat the price hikers. One disclosed: “I buy two kilos of mutton to make eight packets for two months. I apply the same formula to beef, out of which ‘kabab’ and ‘kofta’ and ‘pulao’ are prepared. There has to be a balance” pulses and vegetables are vital to health. Let us ask our husbands to get united against the exploiters.”

— zasarwar@hotmail.com