Calls for communication between parents and children to challenge body-shaming

Initiating a dialogue on the body image of women, especially their shaming according to complexion, tone and size, a panel comprising celebrities and influencers encouraged women to own themselves.

Monday’s dialogue was part of a Dalda campaign which aims to boost confidence among women by focusing on girls and younger women, who often face the ire of people around them by not fitting in the standard put forward by society.

Moderated by actor Ayesha Toor, the panel comprised influencer Mishaal, journalist Amna Isaani, actor Samina Peerzada, Sarwat Gillani, Amina Sheikh and model/entrepreneur Nadia Hussain.

Speaking about body image, Samina Peerzada said that since a very young age, children, especially girls, were taught to look after how they looked, which made them conscious about their bodies.

“When people comment on a girl’s physique, they confuse her about her future. Instead of letting them dream, we clip their wings by asking them to solely think about how they appear.” Sharing her personal experience, Amna Isaani said she had been associated with the fashion industry for the past two decades and when she had started she was shamed for her appearance.

“I was judged for my weight as to how a woman of my physique could report on fashion, but I was supported by my mother, who gave me the confidence to do anything.” Amina Sheikh felt that it would not be possible to monitor all those people who said such things, but one could start talking to young people by giving them enough confidence to ignore them.

Sarwat Gillani mentioned that communication between parents and children was very important, because even if children were told to eat less or not go out in the sun, the support from parents could assure them that they must not fear the society.

“When I came in the industry, I too felt at a loss when people on social media would pass all sorts of vile comments, but I realised that I needed to look past them. It isn’t easy and sometimes with a little support from family, I am able to handle such words,” she said.

Mishaal, who looks after a Facebook group for mothers, said given that many women were homebound, social media was a great outlet for them to speak about their issues and not feel lonely.

Samina Peerzada also said the limited communication between parents and children as seen in previous times was a remnant of the colonial past. “During the colonial era, children were presented before the parents so they would also take a look at them and not talk to them. Both parents need to speak to the children because often children are unable to articulate their feelings,” she said.

It was discussed that often girls hear comments that they must not eat a lot because no one likes girls who are chubby, and the same approach goes towards girls who are skinny because they are too thin.

Amna Isaani pointed out that such comments were often said to tell girls from an early age that if they did not change their ways, they would not be eligible for marriage later, because marriage was considered the ultimate goal. She said this needed to be changed.