Language muddle

My mother language is Punjabi but I learnt Urdu from my surroundings. The initial words that I spoke were in Urdu, and from then on I kept learning Urdu to converse with others. When I was able to completely speak and understand everything in Urdu, I was sent to an English medium school. Although the medium of instruction in the school was English, teachers and students there all spoke Urdu. The outcome was ironic. I could write better English as compared to Urdu, and I could speak better Urdu than English, but I could neither write nor speak or understand Punjabi.

After completing my MA in English I started searching for a job and once again encountered obstacles like the fact that my spoken skills were not very good but writing was because I never practised English, I just studied it, and I never studied writing, I just practised it. Keeping in mind my strengths and weaknesses, I started searching for a job based on my writing skills, other than the teaching line. But once again a decision had been imposed on me to make teaching as my career. So, where do I stand now?

Maryam Jilani

Rawalpindi