‘Dowry violence always remains neglected’

Islamabad: Dowry is a socially acceptable form of gender based violence against both men and women which requires effective legislation at national and provincial level.

The demand was made by a small group of concerned citizens gathered at Kafe Kaam to commemorate National Dowry Day against the social ill of extravagant marriage expenses suffered by the society silently.

The activists and researchers said the due attention has not been paid to the issue as high stakes of commercial entities are attached to this harmful tradition. “Instead of discouraging this tradition, commercials, morning shows and TV dramas actually promote this culture by showing extravagant weddings and parents arranging for the machinery, jewellery and furniture for their daughters,” said activist and researcher, Rakhshida Parveen.

Founder of Fight against Dowry Advocacy Network Rakhshinda Perveen highlighted the fact that dowry violence has always been neglected in the initiatives and campaigns designed around the issue of violence against women. “It happens mainly because of the commercial interests attached with this tradition.” She said that dowry is the most accepted form of violence against women.

According to her research, dowry is a multi-faceted deep-rooted gender issue with social, economic and health consequences. She pointed out that in Pakistan, in spite of a consensus on disliking the practice, only a few have the courage to disown it. She said that the dowry culture has been promoted to an extent that now girls themselves demand their parents to give them expensive items and arrange for luxurious weddings. She said that dowry is practiced in different forms in the world. “At some places and countries, it is the responsibility of the boy to arrange for dower before asking for the hands of a girl. The tradition is equally damaging for boys as they remain singe sometimes throughout their lives as they fail to arrange the amount of money required for wedding,” she informed.

Rakshinda said that most common forms of dowry-related violence are battering, marital rape, acid throwing and wife burning. Perpetrators may also use methods of starvation, deprivation of clothing, evictions, and false imprisonment as a method of extortion. They often use violence disguised as suicides or accidents, such as stove or kerosene disasters, to burn or kill women for failing to meet dowry demands.

Human rights activist Saleem Malik said that dowry flourishes in societies where men and women are not encouraged to marry according to their own will. “Dowry is more common in arranged marriages. Those who marry with consensus usually take stand against any such extra burden on the families,” he said. Saleem suggested making women financially independent by educating them and by allowing them to work.

Journalist and writer Sadia Bukhari talked about the concept of good and bad women. She said that women that speak for their right are declared bad woman. “To fit them into the narrative of good women, the families never encourage the concept of strong independent women,” she said.