Lil Jon feels he was 'too hard on' late son

Lil Jon exchanged heartfelt messages with son before his death.

The famous rapper’s son Nathan died in February 2026 at the age of 27, three days after he went missing.

The Grammy winning artist formally known as Jonathan Smith revealed why his memoir, I Only Shout So You Can Hear Me, which he modified after his son’s death, is now dedicated to his late son.

“I needed to share everything I was going through,” Lil Jon said while speaking with People Magazine.

“This book is dedicated to him now,” he added.

“Some people give up on life when they lose people,” the rapper and producer continued, “but you still have to keep living. So I’m sharing that message with people.”

In an exclusive excerpt from his memoir shared with the outlet, Lil Jon opened up how drastically life changed when he was working on the book.

“I began working on this book in early 2024. At first, I thought it would be a good way to share the experiences I had in my career — stories I’d told in passing over the years, but never with this level of detail,” he wrote.

Adding, “In the year and a half that I was writing it, my life changed in tremendous ways. I performed with Usher at the NFL Super Bowl halftime show. I went through a divorce. I learned some uncomfortable truths about my family. And I was in a new relationship, which culminated in the birth of my second child, Nahara.”

“Through all of it, I did my best to document each moment. By the time I finished writing, everything felt settled. I thought I had faithfully captured the story of my life.”

While the music star was celebrating his career milestone, he was hit with “something that totally rocked” him.

“In the midst of preparing for the book’s release, I received a devastating call — my son Nathan was missing. He had run out of his house in Milton, Ga., and couldn’t be found. Police had searched everywhere. But he hadn’t turned up,” the hip-hop star revealed in his memoir.

Further looking back on his final conversation with Nathan, the grieving father wrote, “I was always encouraging him to take care of himself. On the call, I leaned into him a bit.”

He went on to elaborate, “I’m on you because I love you,’ I said. ‘I care about you. I want you to get better.”

“‘I’m getting there,’ he said. ‘I’ve been going through a lot. I’m working through it. Give me some credit.’”the father continued in the book, “I think he felt I was being too hard on him. Ultimately, we ended the call in a good place. Still, it felt like something was left unsettled.”

Noting, “He must have felt the same way, because at 12:48 a.m. Saturday morning, he sent me a message: ‘Love you dad, got so much love for you. I’m gonna try communicating better and stop letting fear hold me back. My love for you is stronger than my fear. And I’ma get on the supplements tomorrow . . . It’s funny, I know that family bond is strong because our whole family really only argues cause we care. LMAO. I was thinking about our back and forth and i was like, damn, it’s just cause we both care.’”

“I wrote him back: ‘I do care a lot. You are my only son, and I worry about you a lot. You are so talented and extremely smart. Nothing should be holding you back. I pray for the days you have no more discomfort and no more fear. You will excel in everything you want to do. Those days are coming. Love you.’”

“I spoke to my therapist about our exchange a couple of days later.”

“She said, ‘He just wants to be heard and seen.’ That struck me deeply. Instead of being hard on him about what he hadn’t done, I needed to acknowledge the things he had.”

“So, I called Nathan to apologize,” he added, “‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I see that you’re trying, and I want you to know that you are seen. All the effort you’ve been putting in — I see it. And I see you.’”

“Little did I know that was the last time I would talk to him.”

“The next day, I got the call that he was missing. My mind went into overdrive. I thought about where he might be, what could have happened,” the Get Low hitmaker further shared.

It is pertinent to mention here that Lil Jon’s son was found dead in a pond near his Milton home, notably, he died due to an accidental, “drowning in the setting of psilocybin use.”