Jean Smart recalls 'insanely demoralizing' experience after husband Richard Gilliland's death

Jean Smart recently got candid and opened up about her first dating experience after the death of her husband Richard Gilliland in 2021.

For those unaware, Gilliland, the renowned American television actor, passed away at the age of 71 after a brief illness on March 18, 2021, in Los Angeles. Smart tied the knot with him in 1987, welcomed two sons, Connor and Forrest, and remained married to him until his death.

On the Wednesday, May 6 episode of Julia Louis-Dreyfus’ podcast, the 74-year-old American actress talked about how difficult it was for her to enter into a romantic relationship after losing her husband of 34 years.

She told the host that going on her first date in "30-plus" years was “insanely demoralizing."

Smart, who is currently dating an "extremely lovely man" whom she met at a friend's party, shared, "We went out to dinner and I was just a wreck, an absolute wreck.”

"I remember standing outside myself, watching myself in this restaurant, just going, ‘Oh God, you didn't just say that. Oh, could you be more boring? Could you be less interesting? Oh my God. Oh my God.’ All night,” the Emmy winner recalled.

Notably, the man gave Smart “the friendly little side squeeze” towards the end of the date, and it was the moment when she revealed to him that it was her first date since the death of her husband, Gilliland.

She admitted, "I have never felt older or more unattractive than I did in that moment. I went home thinking, ‘I will never hear from this man again.’ It was just so depressing.”

Despite staying in touch after their first date, what surprised the Babylon star was the fact that she didn't "send him running 100 miles in the other direction."

It is pertinent to mention that Jean Smart’s new lover is “several years younger” than her, which makes her “paranoid.”