Three of the two Farley brothers had been reportedly in recovery from addiction. But what set them apart is that Chris, who was a Saturday Night Live alum, was no more.
Now, Tom, as a younger brother, sheds light on his suffering when he was in rehab. “I started to look at what Chris may have been going through and understanding a little bit more,” he tells WSAW.
This realization made him reflect. “I’m able to take the brother with a substance use disorder and separate from the brother that I love," says the late comedian's sibling.
He explains that this separation helped him to process grief and, at the same time, cherish the relationship he had with his brother. “I can put the frustration, anger, and regret over here, and all the good and positive things with the brother I love over here."
Moreover, Tom says his own recovery journey offered him insight into what happened there. But he admits the task of losing the addiction becomes more challenging during the holidays.
As a community outreach director, he explains that this hardship stems from taking part in the festivity with family and friends, but it is unclear how to navigate the uneasy emotions, if any.
“Another kind of favorite tip of mine is keep the tradition, change the behavior,” he adds. “You can’t do it on willpower alone. That’s impossible. And we’ve all tried.”
In light of this, Tom gives families of loved ones in recovery advice on how to work around them during the holidays.
“Support. Don’t monitor,” he shares. “Surveillance creates shame and guilt and isolation, and you don’t want that person in isolation. You want them connected to you.”
“You’re just trying to manage this wonderful tradition. If something makes you sad, own it and change the behavior. Go for a walk. Leave the table. Take a moment," Tom concludes.
Chris, meanwhile, died in 1997 due to a drug overdose.
