I am a 22-year-old girl. My mother was, and still is, a socialite. My father was also hardly at home when I was growing up, and although I am their only child, they neglected me big time.
Dear Professor,
I am a 22-year-old girl. My mother was, and still is, a socialite. My father was also hardly at home when I was growing up, and although I am their only child, they neglected me big time. I wish my mother had not left me alone at home with servants. When I was 10, I was raped by a servant. I told my mother what that servant did and she dismissed him. After that, we only had female servants at home, but the damage was already done and I became scarred for life.
Last year, I got engaged to a guy who belongs to our circle. My wedding is just months away and I am scared. It was not my mistake but I feel guilty. My mother says she has told the family of my fiance and they don't mind, but I don't know for sure if she has really done it. I don't know this guy so well. He is a bit older than me, but I don't mind the age difference. He was married just for five months as his wife died in an accident. He is 37, very rich and good looking, so I don't know why he is marrying me. I fear that incident from my past will catch up with me. Then his family is also very big and very jolly. They laugh so much, whereas I am afraid of even smiling. I am not used to living with so many people. How will I manage? Will he taunt me for what happened to me? I need some good advice to deal with my situation.
Worried Girl
Dear Worried Girl,
What happened to you due to your parents' negligence was very unfortunate, but it was not your fault, so why do you feel guilty? Children should never be entrusted to servants, and your parents should have known that. I wish your parents had taken you to a child psychiatrist when that incident occurred. Had they done it, you would have been a lot more confident and it would have helped you deal with the situation. Anyway, that is all in the past and you should focus your attention to your future. Dismiss all your fears, dear. You should trust your mother that she has told them about it. Don't let the size of the guy's family scare you. It is possible that living among a big family will enable you to start trusting people again. They seem to be nice people and hopefully they will teach you to laugh as well. You deserve to be happy, and now that you are getting the chance, make an effort to forget the past. Best of luck!
