I am a 27-year-old married woman. I have a son, who is two years old. I am an accountant by profession and work in a private company at a good salary.
Dear Nadine,
I am a 27-year-old married woman. I have a son, who is two years old. I am an accountant by profession and work in a private company at a good salary. My husband is pretty well off, and my income is not needed for family support at all. The thing is that the woman who used to look after my son has gone to live with her son, as she has become old and weak. My husband trusted her as she was an old family servant, and she took care of my husband and his siblings while they were growing up. That is why my husband trusted her and let me work because he knew our son was safe with her. Now he wants me to give up my job and look after our son. Nadine, I love my son a lot but I don’t want to give up my job. At times I feel that he needs me, but soon he would go to school and will be away for half a day. I won’t be able to get a job like this if I sit at home for a few years. This issue has created a rift between us and I feel he is acting like a boor to coerce me into leaving my job. I am really confused. How should I deal with this issue?
Conflicted Gemini
Dear Conflicted Gemini,
In the absence of someone trustworthy to look after your son, it is not advisable for you to work unless you can make satisfactory arrangements. It is not easy to get good jobs, but you will have to weigh the pros and cons of working and then decide what is best for your son. My dear, nannies have been known to do bad things to children under their care, so your husband’s concern is justified. In my opinion your husband is not acting boorishly at all; had he been a narrow-minded person he would have tried to force you to quit your job right after you had your son. But since he trusted the lady who took care of your son, he did not stop you from working. Is it possible for you to leave your son with your mother and then go to work? It will be a bit strenuous but at least you will have peace of mind knowing that your son is in safe hands. Best of luck!
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