THROUGH THE LENS OF PAIN…

trauma

Generational trauma is a term that has been popping up more and more in recent years as the condition of the world grows worse socially, politically and economically. This phrase is also heard often when referring to war-torn countries that are facing continuous bombardment and relentless attacks.

Generational trauma can be defined as ‘trauma that extends from one generation to the next. It begins when a group experiences a traumatic event that causes economic, cultural, and familial distress. In response, people belonging to that group develop physical or psychological symptoms.’ Generational trauma can lead people to develop certain health conditions ranging from anxiety and depression to more severe types like post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) or even heart disease. The effects of this can cause people to suffer their entire lives and this suffering along with the root cause may again be passed down to the generations that come after.

Global examples of generational trauma may be seen in black, Jewish, immigrant or Muslim families who have dealt with discrimination and opposition on a large scale and continue to face it to this day. A study done by the World Health Organization (WHO) shows that 70 per cent of people face a traumatic event at least once in their lives.

One does not directly have to be the target of discrimination or abuse for it to affect them, even witnessing something happening to a loved one or living in an unhealthy environment can lead to the development of trauma. A common example of this may be children who grow up in homes where abuse is taking place and develop anxiety and depression when they become adults.

“I first became aware of this burden when I turned 19 years old, I realised I had been carrying the burden of all the terrible things that had happened to my family, to my mother specifically,” says Hadia Siddiqui, a 20-year-old university student. She recalls the rude awakening when all the family members she had idolised were revealed to be extremely abusive. “I can never forget the horrible things they did to my mother,” shares Hadia.

“Not only did I have to deal with the reality of my father abusing me and my sister, but I would also have to deal with the burden of the threats and verbal abuse he inflicted on my mother. I was very young when my mother began to share these things with me and it eventually led to me developing anxiety,” she continues.

Hadia explains that her father is not abusive anymore, and the reason for that was her rapidly declining mental health. Her intense panic attacks and mental episodes would scare her father into stopping his abuse out of fear of what was happening to her.

Hadia also feels the threads of fear and anger experienced by her family in the war of 1971 where the world witnessed the official separation of East Pakistan from West Pakistan. Although she did not witness the war herself, she explains that she still feels what her family experienced to some extent, because they share a collective identity in a way.

“There was the genocide of our people, the rampant discrimination against us, the way we were forced to leave our homes. Even after coming to Karachi, in the late ’70s and ’80s, we were seen as inferior and placed into the category of ‘others’,” confesses Hadia.

“There are also threads of generational misogyny in my family. My maternal grandfather was sexist and also abusive towards his wife. My mother was never able to continue her education because of her brothers and they never allowed her to find work either,” she reveals.

Hadia has seen the consequences of the impositions made on her mother by men in her life, and her mother now believes that Hadia and her sister must go through the same trauma to receive the love and support of her immediate family. “I know that in a few years, I will have to go through the same things my mother went through. Sometimes I will end up breaking down in the middle of the day when I realise what’s waiting for me,” says a scared Hadia.

Hadia wishes that she could leave all of her burdens behind and be able to see the world with a fresh set of eyes, not seeing threats around every corner. “I feel like I’m bound to share the same fate as my mother, even though I know I have the power to change. I can’t help but feel like the cycle is meant to repeat with me as well,” she muses. She tries to break the toxic cycle by fighting against the casual discrimination exhibited on smaller levels. “Calling out sexist jokes, criticising the way men in my family look down on the women, getting an education and becoming financially independent,” expresses Hadia.

Giving advice to the people struggling with the same things as her, she says: “I hope they realise that they’re not the reason for everything they’re dealing with, but rather it’s the pain that has been passed down through generations like an heirloom.”

Hadia hopes that people understand that their rage cannot undo everything that happened to their families and they don’t have to be the only ones trying to break the cycle. She further expresses her desire to see people go on to become proud of the history they have and the suffering their families have gone through, instead of only viewing it through the lens of pain.

“I don’t specifically deal with this in patients, but I can without a doubt say that most of the patients who come to me are dealing with some type of generational trauma,” elucidates Binte Zehra Naqvi, a practising psychologist and mental health advocate.

“Although generational trauma is prominent everywhere, I think the reason it’s prominent in Pakistan is because of how dependent individuals are on their families. Even after becoming grown adults, Pakistanis continue living with their parents and extended families, so there can be a rapid strengthening of the singular shared identity,” observes Zehra.

“Many of them have trouble maintaining relationships, they have issues with their body image, they lack agency. Then there’s depression, bipolar disorder, narcissistic personality disorder and so much more,” maintains Zehra, while discussing the problems faced by these individuals.

“This trauma is not treated when a person is younger, it ends up becoming a part of their personality. The anger, the bitterness, the resentment, it becomes a major part of their identity. Eventually, you start replicating the toxic behaviour and continue the cycle with your own children,” explains Zehra.

As people suffering from generational trauma grow older, they begin to believe that this is how things should be. That life should be lived by passing on the toxicity and abuse because that is how they were brought up, and how their parents were brought up and so on.

Zehra believes that people can break this toxic cycle by changing the way they think, by revisiting their belief systems with education and counselling (visiting a psychiatrist). “They need to do their best to keep these bad memories and bad experiences from becoming a core element in their children’s lives. Every generation is different, so it’s important to identify the needs of their children and adapt to that accordingly,” stresses Zehra.

We can see widespread examples of future generational trauma being created in the world right at this moment as Israel bombs millions upon millions of families in Palestine, giving them such lasting trauma that will not be forgotten for hundreds of generations. Every time a bomb is dropped on innocent civilians, they add another generation to the list that will deal with the aftermaths of this genocide.

At the end of the day, there is hope that people will do their best to end these toxic cycles and give their children better lives than they had. Breaking such long-running traditions can be painful and difficult but it’s a sacrifice that the coming generations will be thankful for.

Rubab Aamir is a student at Karachi University. She can be reached at rwahab2002@gmail.com