The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead....
COMIC RELIEF
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
CHICKENS: The only creatures you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out.
EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
RAISIN: Grape with a sunburn.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labour-saving devices of today.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
WRINKLES: Something other people have. You have character lines.
* No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it really repellent.
* We don’t tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
* Great chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.
* Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.
* Dinner Special - Turkey $2.75; Chicken or Beef $2.50; Children $2.00.
* Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
So, this old man is walking down the street in Brooklyn.
He sees a young boy sitting on the street in front of a candy shop, shoving sweets in his mouth as fast as possible.
The man walks up to the boy and says “You know son, it’s really not healthy to eat all that candy.”
The kid looks up at him and says, “You know my grandfather lived to be 97 years old.”
The man replies “Oh and did he eat a lot of candy?” The kid looks at him and says “No, but he minded his own business.”
