US

A farmer had a car accident

US
By US Desk
Fri, 02, 21

The old lady put £10 in her purse and said, “Please deposit this £2990 back in to my account....

COMIC RELIEF

In court, the trucking company’s lawyer was questioning Clyde. “Didn’t you say at the moment of the accident, “I’m fine”?

Clyde responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite mule, Bessie, into the…”

“I did not ask you for any details,” the lawyer interrupted. “Just answer the question. Did you not say at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine?’”

Clyde said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road…”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Judge, I’m trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the highway patrolman that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident, he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time the judge was fairly interested in Clyde’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favourite mule, Bessie.”

Clyde thanked the judge and proceeded. “As I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite mule, into the trailer and was driving down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop-sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. When the highway patrolman came on the scene, he could hear Bessie’s groans so he went over to her. After he looked at her and saw her near fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her. Then the patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me and said, ‘How are you feeling?’ Now what would you say?”

An old lady wanted to withdraw cash from a bank

The old lady handed her card to a teller and said, “I’d like to withdraw £10.”

The teller told her to use an ATM for withdrawals less than £100. The old lady wanted to know why.

The teller returned her bank card and said, “These are the rules. Please leave if there’s no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you.”

The old lady remained silent for a moment and then handed her card back to the teller. “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”

The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and whispered, “You have £300,000 in your account but the bank does not have that much cash currently. Could you book an appointment and come back tomorrow?”

The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to £3000.

“Well, please let me have £3000 now.”

The teller, with a kind smile, handed £3000 to her.

The old lady put £10 in her purse and said, “Please deposit this £2990 back in to my account.”