Guru, my problem is related to my mother. I earn pretty well and now I want to settle down but my mother keeps delaying my marriage.....
I want to settle down
Salam Guru,
I am a 30-year-old bachelor. I am a banker by profession and belong to a middle class family. I have been reading Us magazine since my college days and now I am kind of hooked to it.
Guru, my problem is related to my mother. I earn pretty well and now I want to settle down but my mother keeps delaying my marriage. Actually, I contribute to family income and somehow my mother believes that if I get married, I will stop giving money to her. I have two unmarried sisters and my mother wants them to marry off first, then only will she think about me. Well, I am aware of my responsibilities and will continue supporting my family even if I get married. But I don’t know how to make my mother understand this point. Guru, I am already late for marriage. All my friends are married now; I am the only one who is single. And I feel very odd when they invite me to parties. I also want to go with my wife and have fun.
I have been dating my colleague ‘S’ for some time now. S is very understanding and knows about my family issues; she has no problem if I continue supporting my family. We want to get married, but I don’t have the courage to tell my mother about her. I don’t want to upset my mother but on the other hand I don’t want to lose S (as she cannot wait for me forever). Guru, will it be selfish on my part if I get married before my sisters? I am very confused. What should I do?
Bachelor in Agony
Dear Bachelor in Agony,
You are a very good son who cares about his family. You have been supporting them financially for years now but it’s about time you also take a stand for yourself. As a human being, it is your legal right to get married and no one can snatch this right from you, not even your mother. Our religion also emphasizes on marriage as marriage is the beginning of the family. And we all know that family is an integral unit of a healthy society. I am amazed at your mother’s attitude who is only thinking about her daughters’ marriage and is not bothered about you.
My dear, you don’t need to feel guilty about anything. You should talk to your mother, without being disrespectful towards her, about your marriage issue. You must address her insecurities. Actually, she is afraid of losing you in case you get married, and only you can persuade her not to think this way. And, no worries, your sisters will get married when their time come. Young man, muster some courage, go ahead and get married without any further ado. Good luck!
My friend is so possessive
Dear Guru,
I am a 16-year-old girl. I am a student of class X and studying in a girls’ school. My problem is related to one of my friends, B. She is a nice girl but she is very possessive about me. She doesn’t let me sit with anyone else and if I am talking to someone, she always interferes. No doubt she is very caring and always gives me good gifts but, at times, I get overwhelmed by her extra sweetness. Guru, I don’t mind being friends with her, but I need my space, too. I don’t know how to tell her that her over protectiveness has suffocated me. I don’t want to hurt her feelings as she considers me her ‘best friend’. Please tell me what to do?
Girl in Trouble
Dear Girl in Trouble,
Well, we all need friends. And there are all kind of friends. Some are very understanding whereas some are pushy. You enjoy with your friends but of course you don’t let them rule your life. Your friend B seems like a pushy type but her intentions are not bad. Actually, she hasn’t realized that her overprotectiveness has made you uncomfortable. I think you should talk to her about this issue. You don’t need to be rude with her as she has been sweet with you. Be diplomatic so as not to hurt her feelings. Start avoiding her in a discreet manner, and she will soon get the hint. Good luck!
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