US

COMIC RELIEF

US
By US Desk
Fri, 11, 19

A banker was arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter’s college education....

A cannibal is invited to a teambuilding week in the mountains.

The instructions say he can also bring one friend.

But when he arrives, he brings ten people. The organizer is shocked: “Come on Alan, what the heck, the invitation said you can only bring one person!”

“Yeah, but it also said bring your own food, didn’t it?!”


A banker was arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter’s college education.

As the cop, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he asked the banker, “I’ve got just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?”


A young banker decides to take a day off from his stressful job and goes back to visit some of his professors at his old university.

As he enters the university, he sees a dog attacking a small child.

The banker quickly jumps on the dog and strangles it.

The next day, the local paper runs the story with the headline “Valiant student saves boy from vicious dog.”

When the banker sees the paper, he calls the editor of the paper and strongly suggests that a correction be printed, pointing out that he’s no longer a student, but a successful banker.

The next day, the paper issues a correction, with a headline saying, “Pompous banker kills university mascot.”