I am a regular reader of your column. I’m going to turn 18 next month. I am quite great at studies......
I am sick and tired of my father
Dear Guru,
I am a regular reader of your column. I’m going to turn 18 next month. I am quite great at studies and about to finish my college. I belong to a middle class family. The problem is with my father. He is mentally ill. He is very emotional and takes everything seriously. He is not at all social and has never let my mother visit her parents since they got married. My father wasn’t treated nicely by his father and faced mental abuse from his father. He is the only brother of three demanding sisters. My father is verbally and physically abusive to my mother. He has given us no access to mobiles and always doubts my mother’s character, although she never sets a foot out of home without his permission. He wants us to do whatever he desires. He wants us to eat whatever he wants, wants us to wear whatever he wants. When my mother gets sick and cannot even get out of bed, I have to secretly take her to the hospital because he won’t. When he doesn’t get food, he starves us. He is also verbally abusive to me and I am fed up of him. I admit that he has had a rough past, but he is ruining our lives just because he can’t let go of his past. I do not want to live with him. I am very good at business and have recently made four lacs in one month (purchasing/selling of vehicles). I want to support my mother and three brothers myself. My friends enjoy with their families whereas we are suffering in silence. I am tired of seeing my mother beg to him for rations, for food and apologizing to him all the time. Please suggest what to do as I am tired of seeing my mother and brothers in pain for more than ten years.
Angry Boy
Dear Angry Boy,
I can well imagine your agony. I think your father needs professional help as his attitude is not normal towards you guys. Your mother has been suffering for so long and now it’s about time you should take a stand for her. I will not blame you for not liking your father. He needs to see a psychologist/psychiatrist on an urgent basis. People who are mentally not balanced can be really hurt their own family. Your father is one of those people who find pleasure in torturing his own wife and children. Having said that, moving out is not a practical solution right now. It’s good that you have started earning but you have to establish your business first and it may take you few more years. When you see that you are financially stable then you can move out and can support your mother and brothers. Till that time you need to be very patient. Just ignore your father’s attitude. And yes, one thing more: now that you have started earning, why don’t you start bringing ration/grocery for your home? Let your father know that you are no more dependent on him and can meet your own expenses. This realization will be enough for your father to change his attitude towards you guys. So, let’s see how it works out. Good luck!
I am in love with my ex-teacher
Dear Guru,
I am a 24-year-old university student. I have been in love with my beautiful ex teacher D since my school days. She is 30 and is currently working. I know she is older to me but I really don’t care about the age gap. Guru, I want to marry her but right now I am in no position to propose to her as I lack confidence. I don’t have the guts to reveal my feelings to her. I really love D and I know I will be happy with her. Guru, I want her to propose to me, but is it possible for a girl to propose a boy? What should I do?
Boy in Love
Dear Boy in Love,
I respect your feelings, young man, but you should realize that this is your life - not a romantic film. You are being emotional right now. I will not say it’s your infatuation as you have been in love with her since your school days. So, no doubt your feelings are solid but what about her? She is 30 and it is possible that she would get married soon. You, on the other hand, are still a student. Think practically; you are not financially stable. Do you think you are in a position to even reveal your feelings? And I am just wondering why you want her to propose to you in the first place? I think you must focus on building your career instead of indulging in a one-sided affair. Good luck!
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