A woman noticed her husband standing on the bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. “Ha! That’s not going to help,” she said.
“Sure, it does,” he said. “It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”
Q: With pointed fangs I sit and wait; with piercing force I crunch out fate; grabbing victims, proclaiming might; physically joining with a single bite.
A: A stapler
Q: How many sides are there to a circle?
A: Two. The inside and the outside.
Q: How do you throw an egg on the floor without cracking it?
A: Unless you have very bad floors, throw the egg any which way. The floor shouldn’t crack from a simple egg throw.
Q: You had 20 men build your house in two months. How long would it take 10 men to build the very same house?
A: Zero seconds. The house was already built by the 20 men.
Q: There’s a man who can tell the exact score before every soccer match. How on earth does he do that?
A: The score before every soccer match is known to everyone. It is always 0:0.