I am a 22-year-old girl, belonging to a middle class family. I am a graduate. My problem is related to.....
I have doubts about my fiancé
Dear Guru,
I am a 22-year-old girl, belonging to a middle class family. I am a graduate. My problem is related to my fiancé, B. He happens to be my cousin and I have been engaged to him for five years. We are supposed to get married by December this year.
Guru, my problem is that I am apprehensive about my fiancé. He is 28 years old, quite handsome and is financially stable, too. He works in an advertising agency in their marketing department on an executive position. And on top of that he is great company. People enjoy his company and he is quite popular among girls. He is very friendly with his female colleagues and cousins. Though he cares about me, I have this fear that he is having an affair with someone. Whenever I dial his mobile, it is engaged. He says that since he is a marketing guy he has to be in touch with his clients all the time and that’s why his phone is busy. But, Guru, I don’t trust him. I am sure he talks to his girlfriend. Recently, my best friend’s fiancé ditched her. He was fooling around and my best friend was clueless about his activities. They have broken up some time ago. Guru, I don’t want this to happen with me.
I am very upset. There are only six months left till my wedding but, frankly speaking, I am too terrified to tie the knot. I love B but somehow I cannot trust him. What if he is just playing with my feelings? What if he leaves me after we get married? What if he finds another girl better than me? I have so many doubts about me. What should I do to get out of this state of uncertainty?
Confused Bride
Dear Confused Bride,
Take a deep breath and put your mind at ease. Actually, your problem is self-created. After reading your letter, it is very clear that you have a suspicious mind. Dear, you should not suspect your fiancé without any solid grounds. If he is friendly with his female colleagues and cousins, it does not mean he is a flirt. To me, he seems like a happy-go-lucky guy and everyone seems comfortable around him. And you should be happy that people enjoy his company and he can strike a conversation.
Sometimes it is difficult to live with a dull and boring partner. And hey, why are you so bothered if his mobile is busy. You know that it is part of his job so it should not bother you. Don’t keep your best friend’s example in mind. Everyone has a different story. Not all men are cheaters and liars. Remember that a relationship is based on trust and you have to trust him. Stop fabricating stories in your mind.
I suggest that you throw away all the pessimistic thoughts from your mind. By thinking negatively, you are only inviting unhappiness. Keep your insecurities at bay. Only few months are left till your wedding, and you should enjoy this period and accept B with an open mind and heart. Good luck!
How are we supposed to kill time
Salam Guru,
I am a 16-year-old girl. I study in grade X in one of the prestigious schools of Islamabad. I belong to a middle class family. My father is a civil servant. We are three sisters. I am the eldest, and my other two sisters are studying in grade VIII and VI in the same school. These days, we have our summer vacation, and the three of us are getting bored at home. Most of our friends have gone abroad and some have gone to other cities. Guru, we also want to go on holidays to some nice place but due to our father’s busy schedule we cannot go anywhere. Our mother is always busy with house chores. Now, tell us, how are we supposed to kill our time?
Bored Y
Dear Bored Y,
If you are not going anywhere, it does not mean you cannot enjoy your holidays. You guys can engage yourself in different interesting activities. There are so many options. For instance, the three of you can join a summer camp. It’s a great way of spending one’s holidays in a constructive manner.
Holidays also give you an excellent opportunity to read books and watch your favourite movies. And you can always help your mom with domestic chores. For example, if you are interested in cooking, ask your mom to teach you how to cook. Baking is a good pastime, and if you and your sisters try baking stuff, you can have lots of fun. Or find any other option that interests you. It will give you immense joy and the element of boredom will go away.
Good luck!
Kindly send your problems at: trustusproblems@yahoo.com
