She is too controlling
Salaam Guru,
I am a 25-year-old corporate lawyer and I work at my father’s firm. I belong to a well-off family. I have two elder brothers who are married and are settled in their life. We all live in a joint family. My sisters-in-law are really nice; you can say we are one big happy family. Last year, I also got engaged to a very pretty girl L. She is my eldest sister-in-law’s cousin. I saw her in one of the family functions and I was smitten by her beauty. Now it’s been a year since I am engaged to L. She is a very nice girl but Guru, she is way too controlling. In the first few months I misunderstood her controlling nature as being caring. But over a period of time I have realised that she is a very insecure girl. Guru, she is very demanding. She wants to know every single detail about me, even my whereabouts. She doesn’t like it when I spend time with my friends. She wants me to wear her choice of clothes and restricts me from eating outside. Guru, I am feeling suffocated now. I can’t take her dictations anymore. I know she loves me a lot and I also like her but I am having second thoughts now. I am thinking to call off this engagement. I don’t want to create any trouble but I also cannot live with a dictator. Please suggest me something.
Fed Up Me
Dear Fed Up Me,
When it comes to marriage, one needs to be patient before taking any hasty step. You liked the girl and you instantly sent her a proposal without even bothering to know what kind of a person she is. Now, after a year you want to have a break up. Dear, these are delicate matters which need to be handled with care. Since you are engaged and your sister-in-law is also involved, you just cannot call off this engagement without any solid reason. The girl is educated and from a decent family. I suggest you to give some more time to this relationship. Have you told L about your feelings? I think before taking any decision you should tell her all about your apprehensions. I believe in communication. Maybe she has no idea that her attitude is bothering you. If she really loves you, she will try to improve the relationship, and even you should make certain compromises in order to make this work. However, if you still feel the same way even after some time, then you could involve your families and call off the engagement. After all, it’s your life and you have every right to choose what you think is good for you. Good luck!
I am in love with my neighbour’s wife
Salam Guru,
I love the way you solve problems. I am a 19-year-old boy. I study in one of the prestigious colleges of Karachi. I am good at studies but I am not too ambitious. My father is a businessman. So I am not that keen on becoming an engineer or doctor. I am doing B.Com. And will join my father’s business after my graduation. Guru, my problem is that I am in love with my neighbour’s wife. They have recently moved here from Quetta. Since they are new in the city, my neighbour’s wife visits my house quite often. My mother really likes her and treats her like her younger sister. She is also friendly with me. But she has no idea that I fantasise her romantically. She is so beautiful. I know she is older to me and is married and I should not think that way. But I am helpless in front of my feelings. What should I do?
Naughty Boy
Dear Naughty Boy,
You are young and impressionable so you are attracted towards her. Actually, this is only an infatuation. Just keep your feelings to yourself and don’t even mention it to anyone. Your harmless liking for her may disturb her married life. So, be very careful and try to suppress your feelings for her. It’s better if you look for a girl of your age. Good luck!
Kindly send your problems at: trustusproblems@yahoo.com
