Pearls of wisdom
- Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- I am in shape; round is a shape.
- Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician.
- Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
- Stupidity got us into this mess; why can’t it get us out?
- Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just stand there.
- Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.
- An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
- People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that Benjamin Franklin said it first.
- I don’t mind going nowhere as long as it’s an interesting path.
- In just two days, tomorrow will be yesterday.
- Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually, you find a hair stylist you like.
- Age doesn’t always bring wisdom. Sometimes, age comes alone.
- You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; you grow old because you stopped laughing.
Bad to hear in surgery
- Better save that! We’ll need it for the autopsy.
- Bo! Bo! Come back with that. Bad dog!
- Wait a minute! If this is his spleen, then what’s that?
- Oh, no! Where’s my Rolex?
- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived from 500 ml of this stuff before?
- There go the lights again!
- Do you know there’s big money in kidneys? And this guy’s got two of ‘em.
- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
- What’s this doing here?
- I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.
- Well folks, this will be an experiment for all of us!
- Sterile schmerile. The floor’s clean, right?
- What do you mean you want a divorce?
- Fire! Fire! Everyone get out!
Compiled by Usama Rasheed
