I am an 18-year-old girl, and I study in a girls’ college. We are two siblings. My mother is really affectionate, but my father is very strict.
My sister-in-law is dangerous
Dear Guru,
I am an 18-year-old girl, and I study in a girls’ college. We are two siblings. My mother is really affectionate, but my father is very strict. He is a successful businessman but he is very rigid and authoritative. My mother, on the other hand, is very submissive. There is nothing we can do without our father’s permission. My elder brother got married two years back, and he is also very timid. Since he is financially dependent on my father, he isn’t much involved in our family’s decisions. My brother’s wife, S, is very clever; I think she keeps my father happy because her eyes are on his wealth, but I know for sure that once she gets a chance, she will show her true colours.
Now, the problem is that I am in love with a guy, F, who happens to be my friend’s brother. He is studying medicine, and is really serious about me. Since it’s really difficult for me to get out of the house, we usually talk to each other via phone and text messaging. One day I forgot my mobile at home and S read all my messages. When I came home, she threatened me that she would reveal my secret affair to everyone in the family. This incident happened a week ago and since then I have been miserable. So far she hasn’t told anyone, but I am worried. What should I do in this situation? What if she actually tells my father? I know S does not like me and she wants me to get married as soon as possible so that she can rule the house. Please tell me a way out.
Desi Girl
Dear Desi Girl,
There are all types of people in this world. There are people who mind their own business and there are people who play the role of moral police and think it is their right to interfere in others’ affairs. Since your sister-in-law is the nosy type, it wasn’t difficult for her to “catch” you. Now, you are in a situation where it is difficult for you to clear your position. But, don’t panic; you have to handle the situation very calmly and sensibly. Before she tells anyone about your secret affair, you must muster some courage and tell your family about F yourself. Take your mother in confidence. Tell her that you really like F and you guys are are good friends. I am sure your mother will understand it. As a mature and sensible woman, she will protect you. Also, she is in a position to talk to your father. You should not be afraid of your sister-in-law. I am sure your mother is well aware of her daughter-in-law’s conniving nature and can handle her in a better way. Also, talk to F and tell him to send his proposal to your home. Once his proposal is sent, S will not be able to threaten you anymore. Since he is still studying, you guys can get engaged. I hope things work out in your favour. Good luck!
My fiance is a miser
Salam Guru,
I am a 21-year-old graduate girl. I belong to an upper-middle class family. My parents got me engaged last year. My fiance, H, is well settled and is from a very good family. He is good looking but the only hitch is that H is very careful when it come to spending money. We have been engaged for more than a year, but he hasn’t taken me out for shopping. Even when we go out, he keeps checking the prices of different items. My friends are insisting that F should give them a treat, but he keeps delaying it. Now, I feel very embarrassed in front of my friends. They make fun of me and call him a miser! Guru, I am getting married in three months and now I am having second thoughts. Should I go for this marriage or should I call off my engagement?
Anxious Bride
Dear Anxious Bride,
Saving is a good habit but one has to spend, too, in order to enjoy life. Sometimes, people spend all their life saving money and tend to forget about little pleasures of life. However, it is possible that he is not very outgoing and that’s why he is avoiding this treat your friends are “insisting” on. If you feel so strongly about this issue, discuss it with F before tying the knot. Frankly, tell him how you feel about this whole issue. This is very important as living with miserly people is not an easy thing to do. Sit with your parents and discuss this matter with them too. Don’t compromise on something which may bring unhappiness in your later life. However, the final decision is entirely yours. Good luck!
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