I have been reading your column since I was seven and really like the way you solve problems. I have a problem, too, that is related to my elder brother. My brother has made my life miserable.
I cannot stay like this
Dear Guru,
I have been reading your column since I was seven and really like the way you solve problems. I have a problem, too, that is related to my elder brother. My brother has made my life miserable. He is very irritating and makes fun of me all the time. He cannot see me in peace and always finds new ways to irk me. He goes to my room, reads my personal diary and then shows it to my parents in order to embarrass me in front of them. He does not miss any chance to annoy me. This Eid he teased me so much that I wanted to run away from home. My parents take all this very lightly. They are always in favour of my brother. In my school everyone has a mobile except me, thanks to my brother who persuaded my parents not to get me one. My school mates make fun of me because I don’t carry a mobile and I have to bear their sarcasm only because of my brother. Guru, now it’s becoming very difficult for me to put up with this behaviour. I cannot live like this anymore. I am sick and tired of being a target of his funny jokes. Please suggest me something. Sometimes I wonder if he is my real brother.
Disgruntled Sister
Dear Disgruntled Sister,
Cheer up, little girl. Don’t get so disappointed. Your big brother is not your enemy. It’s just that he enjoys bugging you as you get irritated and when he sees this, he bugs you more. Some people get a strange ‘high’ by disturbing the mental peace of others and your brother is one of them. He is a real teaser. Such people find pleasure in teasing others. Now, if you want to have a stress-free life, stop reacting to your brother’s antics. Be calm and don’t retaliate. Try to deal with the situations sensibly. You have to adopt a solid strategy in a bid to keep your brother from interfering in your personal life. Keep your diary under lock and key and make sure to lock your room when you go out so that he cannot sneak in. Talk to your parents about his irrational behaviour and let them know how you feel about it. I am sure they will rescue you once they realize how you feel. Also, when your brother notices that nothing affects you, he will lose interest in bugging you and will target someone else. As far as not having a mobile is concerned, I think you should not worry about that. I am also not in favour of giving mobiles to young kids as it may divert their attention from studies. You will get one once you are in college. So, be patient. Good luck!
I want my freedom
Dear Guru,
I have a problem that I have been facing for three years. I am the youngest in my family and being the youngest, I have to face a lot of bullying and criticism from my elders. We live in a joint family so I have to listen to everyone’s lectures on how to discipline my life including my parents. Everyone keeps a vigilant eye on my activities and my comings and goings. For instance, one day I went on a picnic with my friends early in the morning and came late in the night. It wasn’t a big deal but my family members made it a big issue as if I had committed a crime. Every now and then, I have to bear their scolding and now I am totally fed-up of my so-called family and I don’t want to live with them anymore.
I have taken my HSC Part-II exams and these days I am trying to get admission in an engineering college. As always, I am facing opposition from all fronts and they don’t want me to take admission in my chosen field. My brother and cousins are enjoying their freedom whereas I am still treated as a baby of the house. Guru, I want my freedom. What should I do? I am going into depression.
Depressed H
Dear Depressed H,
At your age, restrictions and criticism from one’s elders and family seem like a punishment. But as one grows and gain maturity one realises all those criticism and restrictions were actually for your own benefit. You are one lucky guy who is surrounded by so many loving people who care about you. Ask those who may have all the freedom in this world but they don’t have their families or elders to take care of them. They long to have someone loving around them desperately. So, count yourself lucky to have relatives who are there for you always. Do not mind their criticism; they are only concerned about your well being. Don’t worry; you will get your freedom with the passage of time. So, throw all the negative thoughts from your mind. Enjoy a carefree life while you can. Good luck!
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