A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat: ‘I'm the greatest hitter in the world!
That makes sense
A little boy was overheard talking to himself as he strutted through the backyard, wearing his baseball cap and toting a ball and bat: ‘I'm the greatest hitter in the world!’
Then he tossed the ball in the air, swung at it, and missed. ‘Strike One!’ he yelled.
Undaunted, he picked up the ball and said again, ‘I'm the greatest hitter in the world!’ He tossed the ball in the air, and when it came down, he missed it again. ‘Strike Two!’ he cried. The boy then paused for a moment to examine his bat and ball carefully. He spat on his hands and rubbed them together. He straightened his cap and said once more, ‘I'm the greatest hitter in the world!’ Again he tossed the ball up in the air and swung at it. He missed. ‘Strike Three!’ he exclaimed, ‘I'm the greatest pitcher in the world!’
The game is ON
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, ‘This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.’ The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, ‘Which one do you want, son?’ The boy takes the quarters and leaves. ‘What did I tell you?’ said the barber. ‘That kid never learns!’
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. ‘Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?’ The boy licked his cone and replied, ‘Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!’
Times have changed
Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a ‘marriage of the 90's’ -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, ‘Poached? I wanted scrambled!’
Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn’t having any of it. ‘Do you think I don’t like variety? I wanted poached this morning!’
