Band-aid, as per Google’s definition, is a piece of sticking plaster with a gauze pad in the center, used to cover minor wounds...
THINK PAD
Band-aid, as per Google’s definition, is a piece of sticking plaster with a gauze pad in the center, used to cover minor wounds — a temporary solution to a wound at hand. It is said that they aid our body in healing. But why use a band-aid when they also say time heals all wounds? Does it really, or is it just a theory? Has anyone ever tested this theory, or is it one of those hearsays going on in our civilization since the beginning of time?
The key term here is ‘wound’. If we think about it, there are many types of wounds, but they can broadly be categorized into two types: physical wounds (apparent) and psychological wounds (obscure). Physical wounds are often considered more serious because they bleed. After all, in this world, it seems that for your pain to matter and be taken seriously, it has to be visible, even bleeding.
For physical wounds, treatments are readily available, ranging from over-the-counter remedies to advanced surgical procedures. The best part is that, in most cases, just by looking at the wound — or sometimes after conducting a few tests — one can determine the extent of the damage and reasonably predict when relief or recovery can be expected. At worst, physical wounds may leave a scar, big or small, which tends to fade over time.
Psychological wounds are different — they are rarely visible to the naked eye. Since they are hidden rather than apparent, they often don’t receive much attention and are not treated with the same urgency as their physical counterparts. The thing about such wounds is that they run very deep, and there’s no way to predict if they will ever fully heal. If, by some miracle, they do heal at some point in the future, you can be certain they will leave a lasting scar — one that cannot be concealed with any makeup, unlike physical scars.
My theory is time doesn’t heal any wounds. (Fight me!) The wounds are still there, deep down somewhere. In the case of physical scars, it's just physiology — a series of coordinated events at the cellular and molecular levels to repair damaged tissues and restore normal function — that covers the bleeding, oozing parts with new skin. Overtime, there is just a scar, and with proactive care using creams and cosmetic procedures, it also fades away. If not, over time, you learn to live with them.
But one thing is common between these: pain. Regardless of the type of wounds, we always use several types of mechanisms to hide our pain, be it physical or psychological. In the case of physical wounds, surgical bandages and over-the-counter band-aids come in handy. Whereas, when you have psychological wounds, no such bandage exists.
What about psychological wounds? Do they ever heal? No! Some might argue and say if the person receives some sort of apology or gets a kind of closure, they will feel better. But no, it doesn't work that way. The damage has been done. You can't take back your words or turn back the clock. No matter what anyone says or does! And the absolute worst thing is when the people who are the cause of it think they can just fix it with a single five-letter word: sorry. It's a very shallow word, if you ask me. There should be a class held worldwide. Even better, it should be taught in schools to kids, to make them aware of where this word can be used. It works sometimes in case of minor inconveniences, but it doesn't do its job after someone has done a lot of wrong knowingly. Saying sorry after doing irreparable damage to someone is just like putting a three-inch band-aid on a bullet wound and hoping it will fix it. Not all ‘sorries’ were created equal.
Physical wounds are only physically distressing, But the psychological ones are more lethal; they affect you mentally, emotionally, and mess you up physically, too. With psychological wounds comes that deep shame where you can't seem to forgive yourself for letting them do this to you. You spend your nights awake, and during the day, put on a brave face to hide your suffering and go about your day mechanically like a good human ought to. So, no one can see how badly you are hurting.
How meaningless and stupid the five-letter word (sorry) sounds coming out of someone's mouth when you know, deep down, that what they did was done knowingly.
I am a huge believer in forgiveness. If someone is truly sorry, remorseful for what they have done, and actively trying their best to rectify their mistakes, we should take that into account. There’s that part of you that wants to hurt them as badly as they hurt you, the rational part of you reminds you that it won't change anything: the damage has cannot be undone.
We often hear people around us say things like, ‘Let it go,’ or ‘Get over it. Forgive and forget. What happened, happened. It’s no big deal.’ Such remarks can be deeply frustrating. and dismissive.
In those moments, we can't help but think how we can just let it go. Letting go sometimes feels as though it would make everything we endured meaningless. There’s a belief that those responsible for causing harm should be held accountable for their actions.
But you know, sometimes it’s essential to just let go — not for anyone else, but for yourself. Set yourself free; you owe it to yourself. I know it’s hard to move on without settling the score, but the thing is, you don’t have to forgive, nor do you have to forget, but you must let go.
Hear me out: letting go doesn’t mean you’re dismissing it entirely. It means you’re handing it over to God, the one who is truly just. For those of you who struggle with letting go, please understand this: the people who hurt us are human, too. We don’t always know the full story, and they might believe they were right from their perspective.
Instead of taking matters into your own hands, choose to let it go and entrust it to Him. Picture it in your mind — a scene where you’re handing over their ‘file’ to God, knowing that He will deal with it justly.
A while ago, I read Healing the Emptiness: A Guide to Emotional and Spiritual Well-Being by Yasmin Mogahed where she discussed the concept of letting go, and it deeply resonated with me. It occurred to me that the phrase ‘just let it go’ is a terrible piece of advice to offer someone who is hurting. However, the mantra ‘Let Go and Let God’ is something one can truly live by.