Leen McBeans (@LeenMcBeans): I don’t call them exes, I call them whys....
ScottW (@jswtreeman): You shouldn’t feed marbles to the hippos at the zoo even if they look hungry.
At least that’s what security said as they escorted me out.
Mimi (@dkkcaramel): You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.
Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters): A reality show where Donald Trump Jr. and Hunter Biden switch dads.
Jules (@julesbrazz): Never let them know your next move: signal left, then turn right.
Leen McBeans (@LeenMcBeans): I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.
Maddy (@MadHatterMommy): Them: hang in there, do the right thing, follow your heart
Me: wait which one of those?
A man is on his deathbed. He has three friends – a doctor, a lawyer, and an engineer – who come and visit him. He tells them, “I know you can’t take your wealth with you, but I want to try anyway. I’m giving you each $10,000 cash. When you come up to my coffin to pay your respects, I want you to take the $10,000 and shove it in the coffin with me.”
The man passes and the three men pay their respects. Afterwards, they are all talking. The doctor says, “I know his final wish is medically impossible, but I have to admit I put $9,000 in the coffin and kept $1,000 for myself.”
The engineer then chimes in. “I did all the calculations and realize it’s impossible also. But I have to admit I put $5,000 in and left $5,000 for myself.”
The lawyer looks at them both with disgust. “I’m disappointed in both of you. This was his last wish and neither of you held up your end. I wrote him a check for the entire amount!”
“Live in such a way that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.” – Will Rogers
