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I want to improve my English and confidence

Salam Guru,

I have been reading Us magazine since my college days and am really impressed by its quality content. I am a 21-year-old graduate girl. I belong to a middle-class family. My father is a government employee and we live in a rented house. My mother is a house wife. We are three sisters, and I am the eldest. A few months ago, I joined an insurance company as a junior executive. There are bright chances of growth in this organisation.

Guru, my problem is that my spoken English is very weak and because of that I find it difficult to do my job efficiently and there are slim chances of promotion. Actually, I studied from a mediocre English medium school that’s why my English is poor. A colleague has suggested that I should improve my language skills if I want to have a good future.

I also lack confidence and I get depressed very easily. The people around me are clever and I am comparatively simple, which makes it difficult for me to deal with them. I want to progress in life but I have no idea how to go about it. I am so anxious about my future. Need your advice.

Worried Girl

Dear Worried Girl,

I am really inspired by your determination to progress in life. As they say, when there is a will there is a way, but you need to be persistent in your efforts. You have determination but you lack confidence. Well, you have been working for few months only. Your colleagues are not clever, but smart people. Observe their behaviour and try to interact with them in a friendly manner.

With experience and more exposure, I am sure you will gain confidence. You can always improve your language. Read English newspapers, watch English movies with subtitles. This will help you with pronunciation as well. There is a lot of learning material on the Internet that you can check out. Also get self-help books for yourself in order to boost your confidence level.

Good luck

My mother-in-law is very dominating

Dear Guru,

I am a 19-year-old newly married girl. I belong to a well off but conservative business family. In my family girls are married off at an early age so as soon as I finished my intermediate, I got married. My husband H is 25 years old; he is very caring and loving.

Actually, it’s my mother-in-law who is very dominating and possessive. She hasn’t accepted that her son is married and has a life of his own. She thinks that she can rule over me as I am young and naive. But Guru, I am a smart girl with a strong mind. I want to study further. My husband has no issue with that. In fact, he wants me to complete my graduation. But my mother-in-law does not want me to study further. She always interferes in my personal matters like she wants us to start a family. Guru, it’s too early for me to have children. How should I make her understand that it’s not viable at the moment? I am so sick and tired of her unnecessary intrusion in my life. Please help.

Agitated Daughter-in-Law

Dear Agitated Daughter-in-Law,

Calm down, young girl. You are newly married and you have a whole life ahead of you. First count your blessings – you have a loving and caring husband who understands you and is in favour of continuing your education. You have no financial problems either. Well, I can understand how tough it must be for you to deal with a bossy mother-in-law but you need to be patient. Deal with your mother-in-law tactfully. Don’t take her criticism to heart. Hopefully, with time you will develop better understanding with her. As far as your studies are concerned, ask your husband to talk to his mother. Only he can convince his mother, without being disrespectful towards her.

Well, to have children or not should be your personal matter but you can’t really blame her as she has been conditioned to think in a certain way. And like all mothers, she also wants to become a grandmother. So, try to persuade her with reason and logic, I am sure she will come round. Last but not least, focus on your own happiness. Good luck!

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