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Money Matters

As others see us

By Sirajuddin Aziz
Mon, 11, 18

The title to this piece is borrowed from Sir Max Beerbohm’s essay that I had read in eighth standard. I have since then been intrigued by the importance of the need to know how others see us. Is it important and relevant? Over decades of working experience, I believe, it is the single most important ingredient, in the development of managerial skills. With wanton abandon, today, those who are in the management of just not business but life as a whole in total, pay no attention, give no time or feel no need, to discover for themselves as to what the market place or others see us as.

The title to this piece is borrowed from Sir Max Beerbohm’s essay that I had read in eighth standard. I have since then been intrigued by the importance of the need to know how others see us. Is it important and relevant? Over decades of working experience, I believe, it is the single most important ingredient, in the development of managerial skills. With wanton abandon, today, those who are in the management of just not business but life as a whole in total, pay no attention, give no time or feel no need, to discover for themselves as to what the market place or others see us as.

At best, the corporate world has conjured a name up to his aspect called “reputation”, but has suffixed it with ‘risk’. Repute is not managed, it is earned through actions. The mitigation, if this is indeed a risk, is not a matter of exact science, but an aspect of art that draws from the intrinsic beauty of the human mind. Can we see ourselves as others see us, or is it, humanly impossible, to see ourselves as other see us? Equally paradoxical and hardly less significant is the capacity to see others as they see themselves. In a business environment, it is a foolish expectation to be told, how you are seen, by them. Very few will tell you in honesty of how you are seen by them. Most are likely to declare you perhaps a poster child of goodness or even better to your face, and say devil reincarnate, or something that’s just consistent with the intensity of their hate or disregard, behind your back with varying degrees of inflection attached to each word.

“O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us! (Robert Burns). In English: Oh would some power the gift give us, To see ourselves as others see us. Simply put: I wish for a power to give us this gift: Being able to see ourselves the way other people see us.

Being in command, a manager or otherwise, produces feelings of power, popularity and confidence. And as we begin to lose control of these feelings, the personality takes a nosedive and goes berserk. Power, leads to over-confidence, the manager when being eclipsed by this phenomenon starts to invite and believe that he has answers to all the questions. No, it is not lunacy of the manager but the deception and foolery of considering oneself the most skilled that causes a complete failure of the in-born ability to listen to the inner voice, which allows you to see at least sometimes, of how others see you. ”Although one's self-confident delusions can help us achieve, they can make it difficult for us to change” (Marshall Goldsmith). Over-confidence blinds us all. And we end up being blind, to our blindness.

An organisation abuzz with chants of me, me, and me, me, is on its deathbed. Arrogance of being knowledgeable is a trait (negative) that leads managers to slippery garden path, where we all begin to see ourselves not as others see us. The widening gap between self-deception and reality can only be controlled through humility -the journey to discover oneself begins with, “I know, that I know not” and not through patented responses of “that I know” can help you see yourself truthfully.

Not every manager has the capacity to act as hero, when filled with feelings of being the victim. Any such portrayal is beguiling. “The world is full of fools and he who would not see it, should live alone and smash his mirror” (anonymous). As leader of people, never indulge into voluntary misfortune of considering yourself to be more than who you are. “I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance” (Socrates).

In Carl Gustav Jung’s psychology, the weakness of extroverts and over-confident person is the prevalent tendency to superficiality and a dependence on making always a good impression; they enjoy nothing more than an audience. Since they tend to be never alone, it gives them no time for self reflection or self-criticism.

The diametrically opposite conclusion is the misunderstanding extroverts and introverts have of each other to the extent that they view each others’ weakness only. To the extrovert, the introvert is egotistical and dull, while the introvert thinks the extroverts as superficial and insincere. Both attitudes, lead to the same fallacy of not being able to see ‘themselves’ as seen by others.

Aldous Huxley writes, “Every man’s memory is his private literature”. The shadows/reflections, we see of ourselves is dependent upon our instinctive personality. The cat sees its self, as a lion. It is when the shadow is not in alignment with the reality, we encounter, disturbed managers, who do not therefore learn to use judiciously, the powers vested in them.

They cause the system failure to ensure, they never get to see or hear, of how they are seen by all. If a colleague has the capacity to tell you that you are wrong, why should you mind it? And, if you do; I am reminded of Sydney Smith’s words, “not body enough to cover his (manager) mind decently with; his intellect is improperly exposed”. Knowing the universe and not knowing oneself is a tragedy of great magnitude. Managers, who display on their sleeves crass egotism, must learn to accept that they are not and never will be the center of the world or even their own corporation. The fact that one does not know how less he knows is a personal dilemma of an egoistic mind/manager. “I do not know myself, and God forbid that I should” (Goethe).

Pronouncement and acknowledgment of ignorance is a knowledgeable act. It shall permit viewing of how others view you.

The managers, who believe they are worshiped by all colleagues, have the tendency to go for subverting everything that forms part of prudence and good governance. The demi-god is never wrong; so feels he should care not of other views. This leads to what I would like to term as ‘corporate dictatorship’. Never should an entity be left at the feet of its creator; destruction is bound to follow…

"If we could see ourselves as others see us, we would vanish on the spot” (Emile Cioran). Alfred Hitchcock, thought of himself as looking like Cary Grant ... that’s a tough line to take to think of ‘yourself’ one way and look another, to avoid reality.

“And since you know you cannot see yourself so well as by reflection, I, your glass, will modestly discover to yourself that of yourself which you yet know not of.” (Julius Caesar). Reader, please go to the nearest mirror and discover ‘yourself’.

The writer is a freelance columnist