Setting new standards

Winds of change are blowing throughout the world. Issues like racism, misogyny, gender equality, ageism and sexual harassment in the workplace are being discussed with the singular objective of making the world a better place for our children to grow up in and to work in. Those of us who live in South Asia – Pakistan especially – face the additional issue of body shaming that burdens mostly girls with unfair ideals that they are worthy only if they are thin and fair. This used to be a global epidemic but the world is evolving; unfortunately, Pakistan is not.

Recognizing this, popular oil brand Dalda organized a panel discussion on the dangerously rising issue of body shaming in Pakistan and how we need to protect our daughters from the unnecessary pressures of being ‘thin and fair’ as opposed to ‘happy and healthy’. The panel discussion kick-started a nationwide campaign called ‘Meri Awaz’, which aims at raising as much awareness on the subject as possible. Corporate campaigns usually lack soul and sincerity, but this particular initiative seemed genuine as the brand’s own marketing director, Mr Usama Khan, spoke about his own daughters and how they had suffered due to societal pressures. The fact that a young girl’s success – academic and athletic – would be trivialized over the fact that she had gained five pounds was what motivated him to take this project up. It certainly was a worthwhile cause.

“This comes from the heart,” Mr Khan said while opening the discussion. “Society isn’t making the right noises. Our children feel that they haven’t accomplished anything unless they’re physically perfect. As a father to three kids, this issue is very close to my heart,” he said.

Aamina Sheikh, Samina Peerzada, Sarwat Gilani, Nadia Hussain, Mishaeyl Naek and myself were on the panel, everyone bringing their own stories and solutions to the discussion, which Ayesha Toor moderated.

There were no two opinions on the fact that the onus to ensure children were not targeted for body shaming lay on the mother’s shoulders. “I have to be an example for my daughter and I have to protect her from these outside voices,” Aamina Sheikh said, amplifying the fact that it is usually mothers who worry about their daughters gaining a few pounds or getting a tan when playing outside.

“Don’t our children have enough pressures in their lives that we should add one more?” Samina Peerzada questioned, emphasizing on the importance of being involved in your child’s life. “The slightest change in mood and behavior while she’s getting ready in the morning will indicate that there’s something wrong at school,” she added. Sarwat Gilani echoed the thought, sharing that the closest time she had with her child was when she was putting him to bed at night. It’s when they discussed everything.

Nadia Hussain brought up the incident when a random woman derogatorily commented on a picture of Nadia’s children. She shared how she launched a complete offensive on the woman; the incident went viral and was picked everywhere. “You can criticize me but my children are off limits,” Nadia said, adding that her children had the comfort of knowing that their mother would defend them no matter what.

“A woman’s body is a miracle in itself,” said Mishaeyl Naek, who runs the Yummy Mummy Group on Facebook, referring to childbirth, adding that it was unfortunate to shame it if a few extra pounds came on.

The discussion continued for an hour, with various subjects including the role of media playing in. Everyone agreed that media houses and production houses had a huge role to play in perpetrating these harmful ideals. It was the corporates looking for the ‘perfect’ face for an ad, or producers looking for the ‘perfectly thin, young and fair’ heroine, who had a responsible role to play. All the actresses on the panel suggested that Dalda, committed to the cause, should now finance a film reinforcing this subject as its theme.