Why men should read Womansplaining

Recent news of a terrible and brutal murder of a young woman in Islamabad has deeply affected the psyche of Pakistan in more ways than one.

Violence against women isn’t new but every once in a while, a high-profile case reignites an important conversation in our society – on the rights of women and their place in society.

What follows is often similar. Women are galvanized, their spirit to fight for dignity, respect and choice energized. A few good men become partners. Most others recede into egotistical defense or, at best, ignore the systemic and patriarchal causes for such violence. The truth is that most men cannot even begin to understand what women go through every day of their lives. Whether at home or in public spaces, women struggle daily to make their mark and keep their individuality alive. So, for the vast majority of men perhaps the first step is to understand. It is in this respect that Sherry Rehman’s new book ‘Womansplaining’ is one which all men should read.

As the name suggests, ‘Womansplaining’ is about courageous Pakistani women that have dared to speak out and fight for what is rightfully theirs. It is, in some ways, as much a preservation of an alternative history of Pakistan, as it is a preservation of the oral history of women. It brings into public consciousness the struggle of women who fought for independence in 1947 and then fought equally hard to secure their rights in an independent Pakistan. Each story and struggle is narrated by the powerful voice of its author who brings to light her experience, struggle and discourse with Pakistani society during the last seven decades.

In her foreword to the book, Sherry Rehman highlights the ideological and political nuances of the women’s movement, remembering all those women who are no longer with us or were unable to contribute to this seminal work. Essays by stalwarts such as Hina Jilani, Khawar Mumtaz, Afia Shehrbano Zia and others narrate the history of the Muslim Family Law Ordinance, Women’s Action Forum and various legislative changes in Pakistan’s history. Bina Shah and Fifi Haroon talk eloquently about feminism and the arts, Nighat Dad talks about feminism in the digital age. Each essay is fresh and consuming.

The book’s ability to bring together women from different generations allows for a much-needed dialogue within the women’s movement today. New age feminists and those that struggled against the dictatorial legislation of the Zia years converse with each other through their essays, shining light on the ideas, vocabulary and different pathways that women have chosen to fight for their empowerment. Sherry Rehman in her essay on women and politics answers the difficult question of what, if anything, women politicians have been able to achieve in Pakistan.

For men, like myself, the book is essential reading. It helps understand why and how women struggled over the years. What issues remained closest to their hearts. How they marched two steps forward and were forced one step backwards, never giving up hope. It shines light on the resilience of women, their empathy for other women not as privileged as themselves, and their ability to intellectually navigate religion, tradition and patriarchy while singularly focusing on their fundamental rights.

There is such little body of work on women in Pakistan in general and ‘Womansplaining’ helps fill a gap in our minds and hearts. It opens up a new vista, helping men grasp the unfathomable realities of why women continue to resist so hard for every inch – because they know that the gains they make are fragile and keeping them alive requires hard effort by those that have come before and those that will come ahead.

So, I urge all men to read this book; perhaps it may help us add a few more good men who can stand shoulder to shoulder with women in the years ahead.

The writer is former director, Jinnah Institute. He tweets @hass_akbr