Question of consent

How many times are we to write editorials about horrific crimes perpetrated against women in this country? How often do we hang our heads in shame? How often will men claim: ‘not all men’? Will there ever be a time when a woman will not be blamed for having been attacked or raped or killed? These and more questions are once again being raised, amidst the usual apathy and victim-blaming. The latest horror happened on Independence Day in Lahore – at the Minar-e-Pakistan no less. In what can only be called terrifying, a woman – said to be a social media personality – was mauled by some 400 men. The presence of a graphic video of this incident should set aside all talks of ‘suspicion’. Since the case came to light, various other incidents of harassment of women – mostly travelling in public transport or on bikes – have surfaced; they are all said to have occurred on the same day.

The fact is that women are not safe in their homes, on the streets, at their workplaces, in parks, in buses – even in graves. The fact also is that Pakistan has increasingly become a country that does not offer protection or safety to the women that live here. What is worse is that, in the face of all this horror and all this violence against women, Pakistani society somehow ends up blaming the woman. Whether it is Noor who killed in the most brutal manner believable or Ayesha, who dared to go to Minar-e-Pakistan to make a TikTok video, the victim or survivor is placed under a microscope. Why was she there? What was she wearing? Was she alone? Why was she alone? If she was with someone, was that someone a ‘mehram’? The questions are both endless and senseless – when in fact we must be asking one important question: will men in Pakistan ever understand the concept of consent? The ridiculous spin being given to the Minar attack – that the woman invited it or ‘staged’ the attack just because she had told people she would be there for her video – goes to the heart of the matter. People in Pakistan are woefully ignorant of the concept of choice and consent: that a woman’s consent is all that matters.

We need real will on the part of the state to not only ensure justice in each such case but to reform the police and justice system as well as to focus on how mindsets can be changed so that our society is a safer space for women. Just punishment will not help; a broader strategy for educating our boys and young men is the need of the hour. There must be dedicated modules in syllabus at all levels to sensitize our youth about women’s right, fundamental human rights, sexual harassment and consent. The media too need to be trained on how to interview sexual trauma survivors. There is a need for a consistent pressure on the government to provide safety and security to women and ensure that such assaults and harassment do not take place anytime and anywhere.