Social issues, social media

Social media is strange; one can find comments from the most frivolous to the most serious, sometimes discussed in the exact opposite tone than what is required.

Sometimes, one single comment turns the trail of the discussion to a very different direction and a serious issue is lost in unnecessary debate, or inversely a comment leaves one wondering why such things are not taken seriously, especially in our country.

For instance, a few days back a tweet caught attention where someone expressed surprise that a 42-year-old unmarried friend was asked by a hospital for an affidavit from her parents for some gynaecology surgery. While there were some comments that it might be the hospital’s rule to ensure payment in case of an emergency and some hospitals require guardian’s consent for any surgery (which is very plausible, as hospitals do require consent), there were a number of comments questioning the need for gynaecology surgery when the said person was unmarried; one even asking ‘Isn’t it an Islamic state?’

It was rightly pointed out by someone that gynaecological problems can occur at any age and in women married or unmarried. Both girls and boys are born with their specific reproductive system and medical conditions related to them can occur at any age.

A tweet in reply to one of the comments reminded one of a thread in a closed group on Facebook where some women had commented that they were not taught the chapter on the reproductive system in science class in their school. It was made known that the said chapter was sealed off in the books in certain schools or the teacher told the students that there was no need to study the said chapter.

A tweet was also copied in the group showing a notice from the administration of one of the reputed so-called ‘elite’ schools asking the parents to ensure that they buy the Pakistan edition while buying class 7 science book for their children as it does not have the chapter on reproduction.

Usually, such topics are introduced in class 6 or 7 when most girls have reached the age when they begin to experience bodily changes and some do begin to menstruate. A number of girls are even married off at this age. If they are not taught reproductive health at this stage, one wonders what the right age to teach them about the changes in their anatomy really is. One wonders, if a girl is old enough to get married at this age why is she not old enough to be taught such ‘sensitive’ topics.

But then, one must not forget that we are living in Pakistan, the land of the pure, where sex and reproduction is a taboo subject; and where girls and women should be kept ignorant of the realities of life and be brought up to be modest and coy and be subservient to her family, especially her husband. She has no rights and no say even where her own health and body is concerned.

Recently, a friend confided that she experienced some problems before marriage but her mother refused to take her to a gynaecologist as it was believed that daughters should only go to gynaecologists once they are married. But then, that was the late 80s or early 90s, though she belongs to a well-educated, liberal family. One expects that things would have changed in the 21st century, but in reality we seem to have gone backwards rather than move forward. In many families, it is still considered inappropriate for girls to visit a gynaecologist before marriage; in certain cases putting them at risk of developing more serious complications later in life.

The logic of not teaching the reproductive system in schools is beyond my understanding. While the world is debating inclusion on reproductive health and sex education in school curricula, and the appropriate age to introduce this ‘sensitive’ information, we want to keep our students ignorant of their anatomy. The excuse given for opposing inclusion of sex education at school level is that children will get ‘ideas’ and they may indulge in ‘experimentation’. But we tend to forget that even school children have access to the internet where they can find all sorts of information as well as misinformation and can get ‘ideas’ for ‘experimentation’.

In a society where minor girls are raped, it is more important that young girls – and boys also as they too are not safe – are taught, through proper channels, how to take care of themselves and protect themselves.

As for the person who asked: ‘Isn’t it an Islamic state?’, one would like to remind him that Islam does not prohibit seeking treatment not does it want half the population to remain ignorant. It is better that we stop bringing in religion in all discourses and focus on real issues. One would also like to remind that even seminaries are not safe as there have been cases where young girls and boys have been abused there.

Burying our heads in the sand like ostriches will lead us nowhere.

The writer is a freelance journalist. Twitter: @naqviriz