Thursday July 18, 2024

Spiking divorce ratio — a threat to social fabric

May 20, 2024
This representational image shows a man and a woman sitting with papers. — Unsplash/File
This representational image shows a man and a woman sitting with papers. — Unsplash/File 

Islamabad:As the nation continues to embrace modernization and societal transformation, increasing divorce ratio in recent years due to various socio-economic and cultural factors is threatening our social fabric and family system.

People see multiple reasons behind this phenomenon like financial instability, illiteracy, intolerance, domestic violence, misperception, changing socio-economic dynamics, women’s financial independence, social media, interference of families and not but least the weakening connection with religion.

In good old days, the people whom today we consider illiterate and backward had more capacity and depth to maintain relationship. They were good speakers and good listeners and despite being uneducated could understand each other; were tolerant and console the partner when a dispute arose.

In good old days, marriage was considered a union between two families usually basing on kindness, truthfulness and respect. Two people used to marry even without seeing their faces and it was piety of this relation that tied them into a bond of love whole of life, remarked Human Right Activist and Politician, Advocate Amar Lal.

But, today the standards have changed making this union material instead of spiritual, tolerant and based on understanding. “The bride seldom considers her in laws as her family and groom’s family reckon the benefits it can get from parallel family,” he explained.

Therefore, when a relation is built on interests instead of accommodating each other, it is destined to spoil. Even the love marriage usually fail and many couples seen dying for each other’s before marriage, suffer an unpleasant separation, he said.

Apparently, all strata of life including parents, education system, clergy and social reformists seem responsible for this debacle as we produce intolerant and self-centered Diaspora. In many cases, mismatches and marriages imposed by families meet the same fate.

Bulk of our youth is ignorant of philosophy of marriage because they are not properly taught. The fact is that when Allah Almighty created Eve, Adam questioned who she was and Allah replied, she is your contentment and you also give her love and peace.

But, we have long forgotten this philosophy that hold both groom and bride responsible for a peaceful family. Nothing was impossible for Almighty, but the choice He made for Adam, was of a partner that explains the importance of this relation.

He made it a binding between two people and two families and termed divorcing as the most unpleasant act. But changing norms and values and western onslaught on our civilization has put this noble relation at risk.

They carry out their agenda sometimes in the name of women empowerment, sometimes rights and duties of a couple and sometimes independence. Many local organizations also play as a tool in their hands to the utter neglect of noble teachings of our religion.

Their agenda focuses to flare controversies instead of promoting tolerance and understanding among married couples. “Extra marital affairs mostly due to social media and men’s reluctance to take financial responsibility for their families are among the important factors behind increasing divorce rate in our country,” stated Human Rights Activist, Dr. Farzana Bari.

“Life becomes very difficult for divorced women in our country as there is no social acceptance for them in our society,” she added. Dr. Bashir Ahmed Shah, a prominent Psychologist calls increasing divorce ratio an urbanized phenomena where women are financially independence and they can face divorce or ask for Khula.

“Sometimes couples have some conflicts but the marriage continues as people compromise considering the financial implications and societal taboos,” he stated. Bashir Shah observed that in some cases false claims of families about their children result in separation while sometimes these are unmet high hopes that spoil the relation.

Today after land dispute cases, the second highest cases are related to domestic abuse and financial maintenance. As our society transforms and communication means offer unlimited exposure to extra marital affairs, it also leads to marital dissatisfaction, he observed.

When Advocate Rabia Saghar describes domestic violence and non-fulfillment of financial responsibilities by men as the major reason for divorce; Senior Journalist, Imrana Komal urges state to ensure financial stability to end frustration between married couples and urges families elders indulgence in settling discords.

According to a 2019 survey by Gallup and Gilani Pakistan, 58% Pakistanis believed that divorce was becoming more prevalent as two out of five respondents held couple’s in-laws responsible for most of these cases.

Another survey conducted in 2023 revealed that primary reason for increasing divorce rate was lack of commitment, closely followed by infidelity and conflict in families. As reconciliation fades away gradually, intolerance is rampant leading our congenial life to quarrels, brawls and finally separation.

Two people departing must think what impacts their attitude would be leaving on their children. If they cannot live with peace and nurture well their children, what kind of a nation they would be grooming.

Therefore, it is time for all of us to rethink as to where we are leading. Are we becoming a fierce crowd instead of a tolerant nation; ruin our customs, norms and culture and ultimately shattering our family fabric.