By You Desk
Tue, 08, 22

What can I do to convince my father when he is not willing to listen to me? Please help!


Dear Professor,

I’m a 24-year-old girl. I am suffering from a severe depression. My mother died when I was eight and my father re-married after a year. My stepmom did not like me right from the beginning. She became very hostile towards me after she gave birth to my sister. She told my father that I pinch my little sister and make her cry, which wasn’t true. My grandparents are very loving and caring and because of them I was allowed to do BBA. My stepmom doesn’t talk with my grandparents because they love me and protect me from my stepmom. My dad loves me, but doesn’t talk to me much in front of my stepmom, and that hurts me a lot. I don’t know why is he so scared of her! I love my sister a lot. She is 14 and is very sensible. I help her with her studies and my stepmom doesn’t have a problem with that. But, when she catches us chatting, she finds some excuse to scold me and send my sister to her room. Girls my age in our family are already married, but my stepmom doesn’t let my father consider any proposal. There was a guy, D, in my university I liked and, we became close. After we graduated, he sent his parents to my house with his proposal. My father was away on office work and my stepmom insulted D’s parents and told them not to come or call again. When my father came back, she told him that she refused the proposal because the people were uneducated and from a very bad family background. This was a blatant lie, because D’s parents are both professionals, and belong to the upper middle class. Unfortunately, my father believed her and told me not to worry as I am still young and will get a better proposal soon. I tried to explain to him that D is the one I want, but he told me I deserve better. D wants me to convince my parents and has promised me that his parents don’t have any ill feeling about me because of the way they were treated. They understand that my stepmom does not want to see me happily married. What can I do to convince my father when he is not willing to listen to me? Please help!

Unlucky Girl

Dear Girl,

First of all, please don’t call yourself ‘unlucky’; you lost your mother, which was a great misfortune, but you have your father who loves you, as well as your grandparents. Try to think positively by counting your blessings. Your father loves you and probably doesn’t talk much to you in front of your stepmom because he doesn’t want you to suffer in his absence. Life is not easy all the time and almost all of us encounter serious problems and difficulties, but that doesn’t mean we should start blaming Lady Luck. Fight for yourself, dear girl. If your father is not willing to listen to you, ask your grandparents to speak to him. Give D’s biodata to them and request them to show it to your father. Or, if possible, ask D to send his father to your father’s workplace. It’s a good thing that D’s parents are so understanding and I am sure they won’t mind approaching your father at his workplace. I am sure with a little effort on your part, your father will realise the duplicity of his wife and accept D’s proposal. Good luck!

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