I cannot share my thoughts with anyone. Sometimes I feel very unwanted. I want to be popular and want to laugh with everyone. What should I do?
Nobody takes me seriously
Hello Guru,
I have been reading your column since my school days, and I love the way you solve teenagers’ problems. I am an 18-year-old boy. I am doing A-levels from one of the prestigious institutions of Karachi. I am a very bright student and I always get good grades. My favourite subjects are science and technology. My teachers like me a lot, but I have noticed that my class fellows avoid my company. They don’t bother to listen to my intelligent conversation and arguments. Even in my family when I start a conversation, nobody seems interested. I don’t understand what’s wrong with my family, cousins and friends. I think people don’t want to talk on serious matters. I feel so lonely. I cannot share my thoughts with anyone. Sometimes I feel very unwanted. I want to be popular and want to laugh with everyone. What should I do?
Craving for Company
Dear Craving for Company,
At your age, normally boys have a carefree attitude towards life. I have seen many young boys who are not only good at studies but also have great social skills. My dear, you need to work on improving your social skills. It’s wonderful that you are a bright student, but try not to act like a nerd. Maybe your class fellows and cousins avoid your company because they don’t want to talk about studies all the time. You see, it’s not necessary that all people like what you like, so your ‘intelligent’ conversations can be ‘boring’ for them.
Try to talk on common and light subjects like movies, music, sports, etc. If you want to be popular among people, try to listen to them instead of making them listen to you. A good conversationalist is one who keeps others’ interest in mind. For instance, if a person in front of you is interested in sports and you keep on talking about science fiction, he will be bored. Don’t feel bad; there is nothing wrong with you. You are an intelligent person, and just need to use your common sense. So try to listen more and talk a little less, and in no time you will become popular among your friends and family members. Good luck!
He is acting strange
Dear Guru,
I am a 23-year-old girl. I work in a private office. I have been involved with a guy, Z, for two years. I have noticed a considerable change in his behaviour. Z has been ignoring me for the past three months. We are colleagues and initially he used to admire me a lot. We used to spend hours together, but he has no time for me anymore. When I asked him about his changed behaviour, he said that because of work pressure he does not get enough time to spend with me. He keeps on fighting with me over small things. Guru, I am mentally disturbed, and cry all the time nowadays. My sister, who knows about my affair, has advised me to break up with Z. Guru, I love him immensely and cannot leave him. Please help.
Girl in Love
Dear Girl in Love,
A man who makes you cry so much is not worth your love and time. I think you should pay heed to your sister’s advice as she genuinely cares about you. However, if you love him so much, you can give your relationship another chance. Talk to him directly and ask him if he wants to end this relationship. If he is not interested in continuing this relationship, end it yourself. Also, you need to revise your attitude towards him. He is ignoring you because he is probably not interested in you anymore. Instead of running after him, focus on your career.
You will, in time, find someone who is better for you. Best of luck!
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