We are ready to face the consequences
I am 27 years old. I work in an insurance company and I earn pretty well. I belong to a middle-class family. I am in love with my colleague, T, who is 24 years old. She is a very pretty girl and she likes me a lot. In fact, we are best friends. Guru, I have all the intensions of marrying T but the problem is that she is not from our caste. My parents used to like T and they also gave me the green signal but when they came to know that T was from a different caste, they just backed off. They clearly told me that I should forget about her. On the other hand, T’s parents are also not prepared to marry off their daughter in a different caste. They have warned T that if she goes against their will then she will never be welcomed in their house. The situation now in both the houses is very tense. Our families have separated us and T and I are very upset. Guru, I really love T and cannot imagine my life without her. We are adults and we can take our own decision. I have talked to T and we both have decided to go for court marriage. I know it’s a tough decision to go against our parents’ consent but we are left with no choice. We both are ready to face the consequences. What do you suggest?
Dear Determined Lover,
I can well imagine your situation. It is so sad that we are still divided by the castes we belong to. In Islam there is no caste system but despite living in the21st century we still adhere to age-old evil customs and traditions. It’s about time we break this vicious circle. Being an adult, it is your right to marry of your own choice. It is also allowed in our religion. You are financially independent, and I can suggest that before taking this step, it’s better if you talk to your parents one more time. I think they are not aware of your strong commitment to T. You have to sit down with them and try to persuade them with reason and logic. Be assertive without being disrespectful towards them. Tell T to talk to her parents, too, and see what they have to say in this regard. I hope your parents will come round and give you both their blessings. If they don’t listen to you, then you guys can go ahead with your plans. However, be mentally prepared to face a lot of challenges in case of marrying against your parents’ consent. Wish you both a happy married life ahead. Good luck!
I am fascinated by glitz and glamour of the fashion world
I am a 19-year-old college going girl. I am a die-hard fan of your column. I belong to a well-to-do family. I study in one of the prestigious colleges of Karachi. Most of the girls in my college are very stylish as they are from affluent backgrounds. In our free periods and breaks these fashion-conscious girls talk about latest trends and styles. Some of them follow their favourite stylists on Instagram. Guru, I am also fascinated by glitz and glamour of the fashion world. I happen to be a pretty girl and my friends say that I should become a model. In fact, I have been offered a modelling role in an upcoming advertisement campaign by a big company. Should I go for it? I know my parents will have no objection as they are very open minded. I want to be a model as I am crazy about fashion. I need your advice.
I don’t blame you for being inclined towards becoming a model. But, mind you, this glamour world is not as glamorous as you think. There is a lot of hard work involved behind that glitz. If you want to choose modelling as a career, be prepared for hard work and long hours. Sometimes a single shoot takes all your day. It’s a tough competition out there. Having said that, I suggest you keep your modelling passion aside for the time being. Dear, this is your age to study; if you pay too much attention to your outer appearance then you’ll get less time to enrich your brain. At this moment you need to fulfil your academic assignments rather than anything else. Your whole life is ahead of you to pursue your other desires. So do what is necessary for you at your age i.e. study.
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