I am in love with my cousin
I am an 18-year-old college going boy. I am a regular reader of your column. Actually, I am in love with my cousin. She is the same age as me, but the problem is that she is not interested in me. When I revealed my feelings to her, she really got annoyed and told her mother about it. Her mother, who is also my aunt, has told me that this is not my age to indulge in romantic relationships. She has advised me to study hard and make my career first. She has also told me to marry when the time is right. Guru, it will take me at least three to four years to start my career as right now I am studying and cannot take a stand for her. However, I have decided to marry my cousin in any case. How can I persuade her to wait for me? I really love her and cannot imagine my life without her. What should I do now?
Dear Steady Lover,
Your aunt is a sensible woman who knows what is good for you. She is right; this is not your age to fall in love. This is your age to concentrate on your studies. Right now, you are being very emotional but if you think practically, you will realise that you have to make your career first and then think about marriage. I know it will take you few more years to establish yourself but when you know that your cousin in not interested in you then why are you insisting on marrying her? Dear, you need to understand that you cannot force anyone to like you. There is no point running after her. Since she is your cousin, you ought to meet her in family gatherings, but try to ignore her as much as you can. She has rejected you once and I don’t think so you would like to be refused by her again and again. Have some self-respect and keep yourself busy with productive activities like reading or writing or painting. You know what you call love is just a passing fancy and as time passes by, you will realise how immature you were to long for someone who was never yours. Good luck!
I am so confused
I am from an upper middle-class family. I am a student of 2nd year. Around seven months ago I joined a karate academy to learn self-defence. The best part is that I am learning quickly. In mere seven months, my coach has changed my belt from white to orange whereas my classmates are still wearing their first white belt. The reason for telling you this is that I am seeing my future in sports while I also have a childhood dream of joining Pakistan Army. Now, I no longer want to join Army and I want to make my name in the world of sports and karate. But I know it for sure that my family will not support me in this field. I am very confused. I have one more year to complete my intermediate and then I will have to decide my future path. What do you suggest? Should I join army or should I pursue my career in karate?
A Shining Star
Dear Shining Star,
Your problem is not that complicated. It can be solved easily if you think of the pros and cons of both these fields. Joining army has been your childhood dream whereas karate is your new-found passion. I think you should try to join army. Mind you, joining army is not that easy. One has to go through several theory tests and fitness trials. You need to be medically and mentally fit and you have to have a certain IQ level. So, be mentally prepared - you may be rejected by the Army if you do not meet its prerequisite conditions. Having said that, I think you should pursue karate as your hobby and not as a career. It’s nice to know that you are naturally good at martial arts, but it’s too early to say whether you will be able to make your name in this field or not. At the moment, work hard to join Army; karate can be your hobby. Good luck!
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