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Should I break up with him?

Salam Guru,

I am an ardent fan of your column. I am an 18-year-old college going girl. I belong to a middle-class family. Guru, I have been involved with a very handsome boy, Q, for the past two years. He is 24 years old. He has done his graduation and now he is helping his father in his business. Guru, he really loves me but the problem is that he is already engaged. His family is very backward and they got Q engaged with his cousin against his will last year. He has told me that his parents will never allow him to marry outside the family. He says that he cannot go against his parents’ decision as he is not financially independent. He has clearly told me that I can leave him whenever I want as he is not in a position to take a stand for me. Guru, despite knowing all this my heart still wants him. I don’t know what to do. Should I break up with him? But the idea of losing him just breaks my heart. I am going into depression. Please help.

Girl in Love

Dear Girl in Love,

I can understand your feelings but you need to think sensibly. You know that Q is not going to marry you but you still want to be with him. Don’t be so naive. You are only wasting your time, dear, and I am really surprised at your simplicity. Q is a clever guy who has conveniently told you that he is helpless in front of his family so that you cannot expect any commitment from him in future. He is probably only pretending that he does not like his fiancée to get your sympathy. Girl, wake up and try to face the reality. Q is only having a good time at your expense without even feeling guilty. If he wanted, he could have taken a stand for you, but he chose to remain silent which clearly indicates that he never intended to marry you. I think you should leave him. I know it won’t be easy for you but then you cannot afford to waste your precious years after that loser. And, don’t worry, you’ll get over with your ‘depression’ period soon. Good luck!

I ask a lot of questions

Hello Guru,

I am a regular reader of your column. I belong to an upper middle-class family. I am a student of second year in a prestigious high school. I work really hard to get good grades, but my problem is that I am inquisitive by nature and I ask a lot of questions. This habit of mine irritates my teachers a lot. Though I try to listen to their lectures very carefully, sometimes I fail to understand what they say. And if I interrupt them during their lectures, they get annoyed. So, I end up keeping quiet most of the time. There are so many questions in my mind but I am afraid to ask them. What is the right time to ask questions? I am so eager to learn and gain knowledge but don’t know how to go about it. Guru, please guide me in this regard.

Inquisitive Boy

Dear Inquisitive Boy,

I can very well understand your problem. You see, when one attends a lecture one should be attentive and take important notes, as required. When you listen carefully and when you have jotted down all the important information, then it will be easier for you to understand the subject. And if you still need to clarify anything then write down all your questions on a paper and ask them only when your teachers invite questions, once they are over with their lectures. Normally, professors and teachers don’t like to be interrupted during their lectures and they get irritated as they need to finish a subject or topic in a given time. If you feel you do not understand what they teach, then you can also opt for tuitions, but only as a last resort. Personally, I am not in favour of tuitions as tutors usually end up doing all the home work which is otherwise supposed to be done by students. So, try to make extra effort and be attentive in class. It’s a good thing that you are eager to learn and yes, there is plethora of information available on the net. All you need to do is to Google and you will find hundreds of answers to your query. So don’t lose heart and keep learning. Good luck!

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