I am not good enough for her
I am a regular reader of your column. I am 26 years old from a middle-class family. I work in an insurance company and I earn decent money. I happen to be quite good looking and am popular among my colleagues as they say I am well-mannered and polite. These days my mother is looking for a suitable girl for me. Actually Guru, I really like my colleague G, who is 23 years old. She is very pretty and smart. We are good friends but she is clueless of my feelings for her. G is a modern girl and she is from a well-to-do family. She is doing this job to kill her time. She has told me that her family is also looking for a suitable boy for her. I want to marry her but am afraid of disclosing my feelings. I have visited her home many a time and her parents apparently like me a lot.
Guru, I am in a state of confusion. I don’t know whether to propose G or not. What if she says no? It will break my heart. My mother is pressurising me to get married soon. Guru, if I don’t get G, I will never get married to any other girl but at the same time I don’t think I am good enough for her as I am not a rich guy. She deserves someone better who can give her all the luxuries and material comfort in life. I am just a simple man with an ordinary life.
X in Love
Dear X in Love
Relax young man. Don’t underestimate yourself. Why do you think you are not good enough for her? When it comes to marriage, normally, girls’ parents look for decent guys from good families. You fit the criteria of a ‘suitable’ boy as you are good looking, intelligent, hardworking, and well-mannered. G’s parents have met you and it is evident that they like you otherwise they would never invite you at their place. Of course, being girls’ parents, they cannot talk to you openly about it.
If you don’t disclose your feelings to G, how will she come to know that you are in love with her? Come on young man, be a sport. Muster some courage and propose to G. Let me tell you, not all girls want rich guys or money. There are so many girls who want to marry mentally stable and well-brought-up guys. What matters to them is mental peace and happiness more than material comforts. I am sure G is one of the girls who prefer love over money. And you are not a poor guy; you earn good money and you can grow professionally as well. So, be confident and share your feelings with G. Chances are, you won’t be disappointed. Good luck!
My brother is way too protective
I am a 17-year-old college going girl. I have been reading your column since I was in secondary school. I love the way you solve teenagers’ problems. I belong to a middle-class family. My parents are very loving and caring. Actually, my problem is related to my elder brother W who is 24 years old. He started working in an office after completing his education. Guru, he is way too protective about me. He still treats me like a little girl and keeps a vigilant eye on my comings and goings. He even drops me at the college himself and then picks me during his lunch break. He does not even trust my friends. My parents also seem helpless in front of him. My friends have started to make fun of me. I am so tired of his unnecessary restrictions on me. What should I do?
Dear Distressed Sister,
Take a deep breath. In our social set up most brothers behave like your elder brother. They feel responsible towards their sisters. Since he is older than you, he feels it is his responsibility to protect you from the big bad world out there. I don’t see any harm in it. In today’s circumstances one needs to be careful. You are still in your teens and you can be misled by others. Try to understand his love and care behind his stern behaviour. It’s all right if your brother is protective about you. See the positive side of the picture and stay cool. Don’t worry; you will get all the freedom once you get older and mature. It’s a matter of few more years. Good luck!
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