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By US Desk
Fri, 02, 21

He cares about us but I am afraid he will change if he marries again. I don’t know what to do....

I don’t want a stepmom

Dear Guru,

I am a 14-year-old girl. I am a student of O Levels. I belong to a well-off family. We were a happy family of four – my parents, my younger brother and myself. Then about two years ago my sweet mother passed away. She was a fit woman and was full of life. She was expecting her third baby, she developed some complications and doctors couldn’t save her and the baby. I was 12-year-old then and my baby brother was eight years old. My father was devastated. He really took good care of us. Managing home was not a problem as we had domestic help. Initially my father devoted all his time to his children but after a year or so he really got busy with his business affairs. Now, for the past few months he has been seeing a woman. Her name is Sherry. She is around 35 years old whereas my father is 42. According to him, we are still very young, we need a mother and he wants a life partner. We have met Sherry. She is a beautiful woman but not as beautiful as my mother was. She tries to be friendly with me, but I cannot imagine her in place of my mother. He intends to marry her this summer. Guru, I am very upset. I cannot accept her as my mom. My nanny is very affectionate and I am so close to her. I have heard so many bad stories about stepmoms. I don’t want any other woman in the house but looks like my father is in love with this woman. I don’t want to lose my father. He cares about us but I am afraid he will change if he marries again. I don’t know what to do.

Girl in Trouble

Dear Girl in Trouble,

Losing a mother at a young age is a very painful experience, dear, and I can well imagine your trauma. However, God has given extraordinary strength to humans to bear the loss of their loved ones. You lost your mother when you were only 12, but luckily your father was around to take care of you and your brother. And no doubt, he has been an affectionate father. Now, two years have passed and it’s time to move on. You are 14 and you have a whole life ahead of you. You have to study, make your future and get married eventually. Same goes for your brother. But what about your father? Where will he go when he gets old? He is right in thinking about tying the knot. He knows his responsibilities towards you guys and I am sure he will not change even if he gets married. So, don’t be negative about Sherry. Mind you, all stepmoms are not bad or evil. Don’t believe all these fabricated stories. If a woman is kind and loving by nature, she will remain the same in every relationship. Don’t be apprehensive, my dear child. Think about your father and his happiness, too. Try to accept your stepmom (to be) with an open heart. Hope you all will live like a happy family again.

Good luck!

My heart is somewhere else

Salam Guru,

I am a fan of your column. I am a newly-married 20-year-old girl. My husband, B, is 10 years older to me. He is an architect by profession. My problem is that I was in love with my neighbour, K. He was of my age. He intended to marry me but since he was not settled, he couldn’t marry me. My husband belongs to a noted family, my parents couldn’t resist his proposal and I was married off within a month in December 2020. B is very nice and loving. He knows that I am much younger than him, so he tries extra hard to make me happy. But Guru, despite having all the luxuries, I am sad from inside. I still miss my boyfriend. I also kind of feel guilty about not loving my hubby. What should I do?

Guilty Bride

Dear Guilty Bride,

I can understand your predicament but what is done cannot be undone. You are married now and you have to accept the reality that K is no longer in your life. If you keep on thinking about K then you will never be able to have a peaceful married life. Thank your stars that you have got a loving partner like B who cares about you so much. Don’t jeopardize your marriage by playing with fire. Focus on B and try to forget K. This is in your best interest. Good luck!

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