My parents are also very happy as K is a smart guy and helps his father in his family business....
I don’t want to marry a rich guy
Salam Guru,
I am a 23-year-old graduate girl. I am from a middle-class family. I happen to be quite pretty as my mother is Kashmiri, and very beautiful. In fact, my elder sister, F, who is 25 years old, is also very charming. Last year, my elder sister got married in a wealthy family. Apparently, my brother-in-law, Q, was enchanted by her looks and he straightaway sent his proposal. It was a one blissful marriage and my sister is living happily with her hubby. Now, Guru, the problem is that F’s brother-in-law, K, is interested in me. According to K, he is very impressed by her ‘bhabi’s family and wants to marry me as he finds me very attractive. He has talked to my sister and wants us to get engaged in January 2021. My parents are also very happy as K is a smart guy and helps his father in his family business. Everyone is saying it’s a very good proposal but, Guru, I am not willing to marry K. Actually, I have been in love with a guy, M, since my college days. M is 26 years old. He is very intelligent and works in a local company. He earns pretty well, but there can be no comparison with K, as he is loaded. My sister knows about my feelings for M, but she wants me to marry K so that I can live in luxury. I don’t want to upset my sister, but I know I can only be happy with M. Guru, M is also serious about me. What should I do?
Madly in Love
Dear Madly in Love,
I can understand your predicament. In our society parents usually go after proposals from opulent families and good guys from the middle-class families have to wait till they are well settled. It’s brilliant that your sister is happily married, but it’s not necessary that you will also be happy in the same family. Some people marry to have material comforts and some pursue happiness and love in marriage. It’s about one’s own priority. You are a sensible girl and you know what you want from life. You are under no compulsion to marry K just because he is a rich guy and your family wants you to get engaged to him. M seems like a suitable boy for you. He is young, intelligent and earns well and on top of that he loves you. I think you should put your foot down and talk to your parents about it. Tell M to send a formal proposal to your house. And, don’t give in to pressure. Girl, this is your life and you have every right to take the most important decision of your life i.e. marriage. Don’t worry about your sister; she will be fine after some time. Good luck!
I am so afraid of my father
Dear Guru,
I am a big fan of your column. I am an 18-year-old college going girl. I am the eldest daughter, and I have two younger brothers. I belong to a lower middle-class family. Guru, my problem is related to my father. He works as a supervisor in a factory. Since his income is not sufficient to run a family of five, my mother stitches clothes in order to meet both ends. Although my mother works so hard, my father’s behaviour is very harsh with her. He does not treat her with respect. He is very authoritative and does not want me to go to college. He wants me to stay at home and help my mother with her stitching work, to generate more income. On the other hand, he is completely chill with my brothers going to school. Guru, I want to complete my BA, and my mother is with me. She wants me to study further, but I am so afraid of my father. What should I do?
J in Jeopardy
Dear J in Jeopardy,
It’s unfortunate that your father doesn’t want you to study further but, dear, you have to raise a voice for your rights. You have a right to education. Since your father is a male chauvinist, he does not care about his daughter. But, the positive thing is that your mother is on your side. As an earning member she can use her discretionary power to take a stand for you. Well, you can persuade your father by giving him the option of giving tuitions to supplement the family income. I think your father is only interested in getting money whether it is from stitching or tuitions. Hope, he will let you complete your graduation. Good luck!
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