A few days back I got to meet F in our common friend’s wedding. She was looking pale and sad....
She wants to reconcile
Salam Guru,
I am a 28-year-old CSP officer. I am from a middle-class family. My problem is related to my ex-girlfriend, F. I was madly in love with her during my university days. She was my classmate. I was very bright in studies and intended to do CSS. F was very beautiful and she was well aware of her beauty. When we were in our final year, she got a proposal from another class fellow of ours, B, who was the son of a feudal lord and was mesmerised by her beauty. B was an average student and wasn’t serious about his career. I thought that F loved me and would reject B’s proposal. But, to my shock, she happily accepted his proposal. She told me that I cannot give her a secure future and she can’t wait for me. According to her, B could give her a luxurious life. I was heartbroken, but couldn’t do much as I was not financially independent at that time. Then I indulged myself into studies and cleared my exams with flying colours. Now, I am settled with a secure job. A few days back I got to meet F in our common friend’s wedding. She was looking pale and sad. She told me that B turned out to be a jerk. He got engaged with her but then he was having affairs with other girls, too. F couldn’t take his promiscuity and broke up with him. Then she remained single. She apologized to me for abandoning me. F is very remorseful and wants to reconcile. Guru, since last week, I have been mentally disturbed. F has already ditched me once, and it’s not easy for me to forgive her. I don’t hate her, but I have no feelings for her now. I like a girl K. She is my colleague. K is a very sensible girl. I intend to marry her but B has disturbed me. What should I do?
Gentleman in Love
Dear Gentleman in Love,
F did not value your love and left you for monetary reasons. Material girls like F never stay happy. She ran after money as she thought B would give her all the material comforts in life. Little did she know that she was chasing a shadow. B was a spoilt brat who just wanted to possess F. F saw his true colours when she dealt with him. Since she broke your innocent heart, she also didn’t get what she wanted. Now, she wants to come back to you, knowing that you have a secure future. But, dear, it is too late. Now, it is your turn to play your cards very sensibly. Don’t think emotionally. You are under no obligation to reconcile with her. Had you been still in love with her, then it would have been a different ballgame altogether but since you have no feelings for her, there is no need to disturb your peace of mind for someone who left you long time ago. You are settled in your life and you are considering marriage with K. However, I suggest you meet her once and tell her very politely that you have chosen your path and it’s better if she finds someone else. Wish you a happy life with K. Good luck!
I am not confident
Hello Guru,
I am an 18-year-old college going girl. I am an ardent fan of your column. I belong to a conservative, middle class family. I live in Quetta. I am good in studies but I lack confidence. I am not confident about myself. I don’t feel comfortable in social gatherings and feel shy if I have to speak in class room or in front of people. I am talkative otherwise but don’t have the guts to confront anyone. I want to overcome my shyness. Please suggest some useful tips.
Shy Girl
Dear Shy Girl,
Don’t worry, dear, there is nothing wrong with you. Actually, it’s not your fault. Usually, children who are brought up in conservative families tend to become shy adults. However, with consistent efforts, you can boost your confidence and can emerge as a buoyant girl.
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