Looking for love
I am a 25-year-old working girl. I belong to a middle-class family. I happen to be quite attractive. I had a boyfriend in college but he ditched me. I was very depressed but then I promised myself not to cry for any guy and decided to focus on my future. Then I started working some four years ago. My boss was very good looking and rich. He offered me a handsome salary package with fringe benefits. I was very happy. Gradually, I got involved with my boss romantically. He was serious about me but he was 45 and a married man with children. He wanted to marry me but my parents rejected his proposal and even forced me to resign from my job. According to them there was a huge age gap and they couldn’t let their daughter go for a married man. I was heartbroken but couldn’t do much about it. Then I searched for another job. In my new office I have found another guy, Z. He is very charming but he is not from our community and he is not well off. Again, my parents are against him. They say that with Z I won’t be happy as he is an outsider. Guru, Z is my final love. I have already hurt myself twice and I don’t want to hurt myself again. My parents are arranging my engagement with my second cousin, K. For them, K is the perfect match for me as he is from our ‘bradri’ and earns well. Guru, I don’t want to marry K. I only want to marry Z. How will I persuade my parents? Should I go for court marriage?
Girl in Doldrums
Girl in Doldrums,
You are one of those people who fall in love at all the wrong places. Your first love was actually your infatuation; then you fell in love with a mature and married man and that was a totally mismatch. How could you even think of tying the knot with a married man? Your parents did the right thing by stopping you from committing a blunder. As far as your third (and according to you your final) love is concerned, I suggest you think twice before taking any drastic step. Just forget the idea of court marriage. It’s not feasible in your case. Girl, stop being emotional. You will bound to face difficulties even if you succeed in marrying Z. He will not be accepted by your family and you will face a lot of other issues too. Your parents are just trying to save you from taking another wrong decision. I am sure with time you will be able to forget Z. I guess you should consider K’s proposal. He sounds like a decent guy and he is from your extended family. If you marry K, you get your parents’ blessings too. Don’t make your life complicated, girl, and just accept the reality with an open mind. I think K is going to be your final love and you will stay happy with him. Good luck!
I can’t trust girls
I have been reading your column since my school days. I am a 22-year-old university student. I belong to a well-off family. I have a pleasant personality and everyone enjoys my company. I am also good in studies. I have many friends in university including girls. But somehow, I can’t seem to trust any one of them. Actually, I have issues when it comes to trusting girls or having any sort of relationship with them. Maybe the reason for this is my ex-girlfriend who was with me when I was in college. I was madly in love with her. She was very beautiful, but she cheated on me and dumped me for another guy. It shattered my trust. Now I cannot trust any girl. My best friend, L, really likes me and I know she wants a steady relationship with me. She is smart and funny. I really like her, but am afraid of any commitment. What should I do?
Dear Apprehensive Me,
You can’t give up driving because of a bad road accident; similarly, you cannot stop trusting people because of one bad experience. Forget your selfish girlfriend. In life, you learn from your experiences, and you have learnt your lesson. Now, it’s time to move on. L seems like an honest and sincere person, so don’t be apprehensive; love is calling you and I am sure this time round you won’t be disappointed. I wish you all the happiness in life.
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