I was initially inspired from the article The Blame Game by Unsa Athar. I agree that overwhelming oneself with guilt or torturing oneself by thinking that all bad things are of our own making makes the problem worse.
However, I don’t think life sucks all the time. There are so many beautiful moments scattered in each phase of life. To dwell upon one incident for the rest of your life and to make conclusions based on a bad experience is not a healthy approach.
Indeed mental health is ignored and mental illnesses are stigmatized in our society as if it is a plague. We need to stop this criminal negligence but we also need to rely upon one another for support rather than mere therapy. Because a therapist will help you as long as you pay up. However, finding a trusted friend or a family member can help heal the wound in the long term. One of my relatives suffers from depression and she improved a lot faster when we as a family came together for her support. The therapy continues but the smile on her face is priceless when she feels that she is loved and cared for.
A personal note to Unsa: things will get better. Not today, not tomorrow but soon, someday, somehow, things will get better because life is a journey, not a destination.
Let’s try to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes and see how different the world is. A person may have a different outlook on things than how we perceive them. Maybe, that world is completely new for us; people who are nice and cooperative can be mean and cold here. Whenever I change my perception and consider and respect other people’s experiences, I try to be a different person.
Narrated by Ali (R.A)
The Prophet (S.A.W) sent an army unit (for some campaign) and appointed a man from the Ansar as its commander and ordered them (the soldiers) to obey him. (During the campaign) he became angry with them and said, “Didn’t the Prophet order you to obey me?” They said, “Yes.” He said, “I order you to collect wood and make a fire and then throw yourselves into it.” So they collected wood and made a fire, but when they were about to throw themselves into, it they started looking at each other, and some of them said, “We followed the Prophet to escape from the fire. How should we enter it now?” So while they were in that state, the fire extinguished and their commander’s anger abated. The event was mentioned to the Prophet and he said, “If they had entered it (the fire) they would never have come out of it, for obedience is required only in what is good.”
Sahih Bukhari, Volume 9, Book 89, Number 259
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