I am 15 years old. I am a regular reader of your column. I study in grade nine in a co-ed school.....
I have a girlish voice
Salaam Guru,
I am 15 years old. I am a regular reader of your column. I study in grade nine in a co-ed school. I am a normal, healthy boy and I am into sports and other physical activities. I am also good in studies and my teachers appreciate me as I am a well mannered boy. Guru, my only problem is that I have a girlish voice. Due to my voice I face a lot of embarrassment. When I call someone, it usually takes them a while to recognize that I am a male.
Guru, there is a girl in my class ‘S’ whom I really like, she seems to like me, too, but I never get the courage to reveal my feelings to her. I am too scared that she will reject me because of my voice. Should I talk to S?
Another issue is I like to participate in debates but I have this fear of facing the audience because of my voice. I am very upset. Please tell me what I should do.
Disturbed Teenager
Dear Disturbed Teenager,
You don’t need to worry about your voice dear. It’s part of growing up. Most people experience a change in their voice during puberty. In males, this happens when testosterone stimulates vocal folds located in the voice box, or larynx, to stretch; the longer the vocal folds, the lower the frequency or pitch. Over a period of time this settle downs naturally. There is nothing to feel embarrassed about your voice as this is something which is not in your hands. So, don’t take unnecessary tension; with time, your voice will mature.
Don’t be shy of going up to the stage; all you need to do is to speak with confidence. If your ideas are good and you speak with aplomb, people will listen to you. All you need is bit of practice.
And muster some courage and talk to ‘S’. Don’t underestimate yourself. I am sure she will give you a positive response if she genuinely likes you. The point is to stay happy and focus on your strengths. The problem in your voice will be overlooked by people once they begin to see your new-found confidence.
Good luck!
My parents are not giving their consent
Dear Guru,
I am a 23-year-old girl. I have three younger siblings who are studying. I am a graduate and have been working in a multi-national as a junior executive for more than a year. I belong to a middle class family. Guru, I have big dreams and I want to lead a luxurious life. I am not career oriented but am working due to financial reasons. My father is an honest officer and he believes in earning honest money, so in this time of inflation you can imagine how difficult it is for a middle class family to run a house within their limited budget. So, I have to work to support my family.
Recently, I met a very attractive guy ‘H’ in one of our office parties. He is a businessman. We became friends instantly. After our few meetings he proposed to me. Last week he came to our house to meet my parents. But my parents are not giving their consent. They don’t want me to marry him because of the age difference and that he is also married. Guru, I have no objection to this proposal as I always wanted to marry a rich guy. But how will I persuade my old fashioned parents?
Material Girl
Dear Material Girl,
I think your parents are right. You are actually going through an emotional phase. You hardly know this guy and you have only met him a few times. Marriage is a very big decision and is a serious commitment. It’s not a child’s play. Don’t be so impatient in marrying Mr. Rich. Ask yourself why you want to marry him. If you are marrying for material things then stop yourself from making this blunder; you will regret later in your life. Money is no guarantee to give you a peaceful or happy married life. Don’t forget he already has a wife! How can you trust him? Even if you marry him, against your parents’ will, you will never get his undivided attention and respect from his family. So, think twice before making any decision. Look at your mom, she is happy despite facing hardships in life only because she has a loving partner. However, at the end of the day, final decision is yours.
Good luck!
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