Dissociate

INTROSPECTION

I had heard all the jargon dozens of times - the “alters”, the “personalities” - and dismissed them. Now they all took on new significance. They were no longer just words or ideas or theories.

They were people.

You see I am a person with many facets to my personality; when you meet me and spend some time with me, you might think that you know me inside out...the truth is you do not! What you know about me is what I allow you to know about me. People then want to know how many personalities I have and the answer is: I don’t know.

To me this is what the most fascinating thing about people is - we have the ability to manipulate what other people think about us, and we have the convenience to warp our personalities and our image in front of people. It is fascinating really, the archetypes that we create of ourselves. However, does that mean no one in our lives ever truly knows the real us? Now, that is the real question. Are we all sociopaths?

I for one am absolutely sure that I put on a different facade for different people, so you never know what side you will experience. Am I a sociopath? Maybe I need to reach far down into the depths of my personality and find out. Or maybe I am just a private person who does not like to share everything with outsiders. Well, I guess you will never know, but what I will tell you is that I am not as innocent as I look; I have an evil side to me. I am a menace, some might say, but then again some think I am as innocent as an angel, but is it not possible for the devil to disguise itself as an angel? I will leave you with that thought, ponder over it and let me know what your thoughts are.

Every person is different and unique in their own way. Similarly, every one of us has multiple personalities for the different people in our lives. The question is: are we not all just sociopaths, hiding every single facet of our personality until we feel it appropriate to let one of them out?

Are we not all fighting with our own demons and ghosts? Are we not all trying to hold on to a thread of sanity in this insane world even if it means having different personalities? Even if it means never truly showing ourselves or opening ourselves up to anyone.

“You can be as open-minded as possible and still be nonplussed. I didn’t know a hundred different people. Even though some of them were only fragments’ of a personality, how could that many exist in my tiny body?”