I am a big fan of your column. I am an 18-year-old girl. I am studying commerce in one of the prestigious colleges....
My aunt is so protective of me
Hello Guru,
I am a big fan of your column. I am an 18-year-old girl. I am studying commerce in one of the prestigious colleges in Karachi. I belong to a well-off family. I study in co-education so I have male friends, too. My parents are quite broadminded and they have no objection on my male friends. I have a good life and I enjoy time with my friends.
My only problem is my unmarried aunt (phuppo) who lives with us. She is so loving and caring but she is extra protective of me. I have three elder brothers and since I grew up with them I am more like a tomboy. And as the only daughter in the house, I have also been spoiled by everyone.
But my aunt is always worried about me. She keeps telling me to take interest in household chores as according to her this is very important for my future married life. She also has issues with my mingling with boys. She says that I should behave like decent girls so that I can get good proposals.
Guru, I am just amazed at her thinking process. Despite being a single, working woman in the house, she thinks in a typical manner when it comes to me. Guru, I don’t understand her problem! Do you have any idea why she is so possessive of me? How do I deal with my aunt?
Angry Niece
Dear Angry Niece,
Relax! Don’t think negatively about her. Since your aunt is sincere with you and takes you as her own daughter, you should not worry; she means no harm. Actually your aunt is concerned about your future. She is right in a way as she knows our society and she does not want you to get hurt in the end. Put yourself in her shoes and then think. You never know how hard or difficult her life must have been. Maybe she was exactly like you in her youth and now she does not want to repeat history and that’s why she wants you to get married at a reasonable age.
Just remember no matter how modern we become, when it comes to marriage people think in a conventional manner. Listen to your aunt as she only wants happiness for you. You are lucky that you have a person like her in your life who loves you unconditionally. So respect her and stop judging her behaviour. Good luck!
I love fashion
Dear Guru,
I really like the way you help teenagers solve their problems. I am a 16-year-old girl and I am in Grade XI in one of the well known schools in Islamabad. Most of the girls in my school are very stylish as they are from affluent backgrounds. I also belong to a well off family but my parents are a bit conservative. They do not allow me to wear makeup and fashionable clothes. They say that I can do all this when I turn 18.
But Guru, I don’t want to stay behind. All my modern friends talk about latest trends and styles and I feel embarrassed in front of them. I am so clueless and I don’t want to feel backward among my cool friends.
Miss Clueless
Dear Miss Clueless,
Your inclination towards fashion appears natural as you are at an age when one is inspired by all the flashy things in life. If you want to know latest trends in fashion, just look up for ideas on the internet. I don’t understand why you feel so compelled to try all the fashion at this tender age. Your parents are sensible people and they know what’s best for their little daughter. They are right that you should wear makeup and wear fashionable clothes when you are a little mature.
Plus, you should not feel embarrassed in front of your friends. Don’t follow them blindly. Let them do whatever they want to do. This is your age to study; if you pay too much attention to your outer appearance, you’ll get lesser time to enrich your brain. At this moment, you should only be concerned about your academics. Good luck.
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