I am a 21-year-old boy. Guru, I am facing a love dilemma. Actually I was in love with a girl in school.....
I am not sure of my feelings
Dear Guru,
I am a 21-year-old boy. Guru, I am facing a love dilemma. Actually I was in love with a girl in school when I was a teenager; she was my first crush. Then I lost contact with her. Now, recently I have met her again after a gap of more or less seven years. Coincidently, we both got admission in the same university. She is as beautiful as she was seven years ago. In fact, she has become a charmer. We have become friends in no time. We like each other a lot and I am really serious about her. I want to make her my life partner but the problem is that I do not want to take any hasty decision at the moment. Actually, I am not sure of my feelings. I am confused whether it is love or infatuation. I love everything about her and I think she will adjust easily in my family too. How will I know she is the right girl for me? What if my love for her fizzles out after some time? Guru, do you think I should take this relationship any further? Should I propose to her?
Infatuated Boy
Dear Infatuated Boy,
You are no more a teenager. You are 21 and it is quite a mature age. By 21 one is quite sure of one’s feelings. The girl, who was your crush at one time, is now your friend. Even after a gap of seven years you still have feelings for her which shows that it is not an infatuation. Had it been a passing fancy you would not have been attracted towards her again with the same passion. So don’t think too hard and free your mind of unnecessary thoughts. I think you are just afraid of making a commitment. Well, you both are too young to get married. Ideally you should get married when you are settled down in your life and career. Since you do not want to take any hasty decision and you are not in a rush, what you can do is to get engaged to that girl. I am sure your love for her will not fizzle out. Good luck!
Confidential
My mother is driving me crazy
Dear R.G,
As soon as we conjure up the image of a mother we usually associate words like kindness, generosity, sacrifice and affection with her but sadly not all mothers are the same. It is so unfortunate that you have a mother who does not give the kind of attention, care and love to you that normally mothers give to their daughters. However, don’t feel miserable about your mother’s unfair treatment towards you.
Sometimes one has to deal with one’s own parents very patiently; however; there are times where one has to take a stand for one’s rights even if it means taking a stand against your own mother (if she is way too aggressive). Well, you can ignore her grumbling and yelling but you should not tolerate physical abuse at any cost. Your mother should understand that hitting her own daughter is by no means acceptable. So, if she tries to hit you next time, you must complain to your father or any other relative whom you feel you can confide in. Good luck!
No wedding bells for me, please
Salam Guru,
I am a 16-year-old girl. I study in 10th grade in a prestigious school. I belong to a rich but conservative family and in our family girls are married off at an early age. Most of my elder cousins got married after they did matriculation. Guru, there is a proposal for me from a very rich family. The boy is well settled, but he is 10 years older to me. Guru, I don’t want to get married so early. I want to do my graduation before my marriage. Please tell me what I should do.
Young Bird
Dear Young Bird,
It’s good to know that you want to complete your education before tying the knot, and your parents should understand that. Sit down with your parents and tell them frankly that you do not want to get married so early. If they don’t listen to you then tell them to give you at least two years’ time. By then, at least you will be done with your Intermediate. I know it’s not easy to go against your family’s norms, but at least one should have the courage to raise voice against unjust customs. Good luck!
